Lenten Meditation: Eulogize your living loved one

eulogy  noun, plural eulogies.1. a speech or writing in praise of a person or thing, especially a set oration in honor of a deceased person. 2. high praise or commendation.

In our week's Lenten meditation, we focus on the Lord's care for His dear mom as His own death approaches.  How tender, how like a beloved son of a beloved mom! Caring for our treasured loved ones is at the heart of "family" in the purest sense of the word.

However, we often forget that true caring can be much deeper and more needed than merely physical care, as critical as that is.  There's a caring that touches heart and soul...one that meeting physical needs approaches, but a caring that perhaps only loving words can reach.

We busily go through our lives, often thinking many kind thoughts and feeling loving, appreciative sentiments for our loved ones, but not stopping to put words and voice to them...nourishing the soul of ones we love.

Rather what do we traditionally do?  We wait until the person has passed away to express those words, words that deep down she may have been longing to hear.    We give those golden words to others in the form of a eulogy, either formally or informally delivered, at a funeral or memorial service.

I've been thinking a lot about death these days, especially since my dear mom has gone to her reward with Jesus in heaven just last November.  About eight years ago, several of my siblings had the wonderful brain-child to celebrate my mom's 85th birthday with a big party/reunion.  This was a huge deal with music, singing, readings and fun!

As part of that, many of us wrote, in a sense, our eulogies to her, and my son Jeremy compiled them in a book with photos.  And as wonderful as the entire occasion was, the most important thing was that little volume of golden words.

I'm not sure my mom was able to take it all that day. But I do know something was received...she was honored with words of love, affection, and affirmation.  And she looked through that book while she was in the Manor House Senior Center, and who knows but many memories kicked in when she viewed not just words but also  photos of loved ones.

So dear friends, don't wait too long!  Don't even wait till 85...life is a vapor!

I really believe that a big part of our grief over the loss of a loved one is really regret (which can eat us alive!).  Seize the opportunity to just simply say the beautiful, wonderful things you think and feel, even right then and there in the moment. You don't need a big bash to do it! Don't assume the person knows how you feel!We are all insecure enough to NOT KNOW!

You will be glad you did...but most of all, your loved one will be "cared for" in the depths of her soul!

For His honor and glory! Amen!

To see my "eulogy" for my mom's 85, click here.

Take a look at the one another verses.

Fear Not: a Conversation for Every Day of the Year

It's never too late to enter into this conversation. Hear your Lord speak to your heart: My child...

prayer

Fear not...you are never alone for I am with you!

Fear not...you are never left out for you are one with Me !

Fear not...you are never condemned, but always accepted! I not only love you...I like you!

Fear not...you are always adequate with My adequacy...no matter how helpless and inadequate you feel!

Fear not...you are alive with my everlasting, indestructible life, no matter how dead you feel inside! I am your Life!

I AM in your "right here, right now," whether it be suffering in a hospital room or struggling over a wardrobe choice in your closet...and everything in between...I am with you!

Lord, I believe, help my unbelief...

You are my Courage, when I am afraid!

You are my Adequacy, when I am helpless and afraid of failing!

You are my Comfort Zone, and nothing You send me is outside of YOU, my Comfort Zone Christ!

Abba

You are my words, the Word, when my words fail me!

I invite you, O my King, my indwelling Lord...

into my fears...one by one...moment by moment...day by day...

into my mind and harassing thoughts...

into my nervous system and blood pressure that tends to be like the wind and waves being tossed to and fro...

into each and every thing I face today and for as many days as we walk together on this earth...

I chose YOU afresh this year... this day, my God.  Amen.

The Lord is ever present with us.Don’t be anxious about things; instead, pray. Pray about everything. He longs to hear your requests, so talk to God about your needs and be thankful for what has come. And know that the peace of God (a peace that is beyond any and all of our human understanding) will stand watch over your hearts and minds in Jesus, the Anointed One.

Finally, brothers and sisters, fill your minds with beauty and truth. Meditate on whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure,whatever is lovely, whatever is good, whatever is virtuous and praiseworthy...and the God of peace will walk with you. Philippians 4:5b-9 VOICE

The unfolding Way...the unfolding Day...the unfolding Life

These were my thoughts as I awoke early today. And it became a conversation with my Lord. Maybe this is for you too...

Let it happen... Let life unfold... Step into each day, each moment, and let it unfold before you...the moment...the day

But Lord, what about the preparing for what I know are my responsibilities? I don't want to be stressed, but how does that fit into my unfolding day?

I will unfold even the preparing before you, "This is the time...the way... for this preparing, for this scheduling, for this looking ahead... walk in it NOW!"

Yes, Lord! Is that how being "Ready for Anything" can be true? "Be it done unto me according to your word"...this way...this moment...this day...this life!

The skies don't seem to be as dark as usual The stars seem brighter then they've been before Deep within I feel my soul a stirring As though my hope has been restored

The shepherds say they've heard the voice of angels Confirming rumors spread across the land That a child protected well from Herod's anger Is our Father's Son, and the Son of man

Love is raining down on the world tonight There's a presence here I can tell God is in us, God is for us, God is with us, Emmanuel He's a Savior we have been praying for In our humble hearts He will dwell God is in us, God is for us, God is with us, Emmanuel

I feel compelled to tell all who will listen That peace on earth is not so out of reach If we can find grace and mercy and forgiveness He has come to save, He is all of these

Love is raining down on the world tonight There's a presence here I can tell God is in us, God is for us, God is with us, Emmanuel He's a Savior we have been praying for In our humble hearts He will dwell God is in us, God is for us, God is with us, Emmanuel

Love is raining down on the world tonight There's a presence here I can tell God is in us, God is for us, God is with us, Emmanuel He's a Savior we have been praying for In our humble hearts He will dwell God is in us, God is for us, God is with us

You're the Savior we have been praying for In our humble hearts You will dwell You are in us, You are for us, You are with us, Emmanuel

The Father's Sandpaper

It's a precious relationship...but why is it so hard...and painful? We keep "missing" each other!  Maybe we don't "get" each other?

I keep trying to respect boundaries and be "circumspect" in what I say and do...and then it comes:  stuff from the past, mistakes in the present...at times, I am responsible...other times, I feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Not the sweetness and light I keep hoping for!

Lord, why?  Why is it so hard?  How do I navigate this relationship?

Then comes His still, small voice:

This relationship is Sandpaper in My Hands to shine you up...to get those rough places smooth!

sandpaper

Now how can I argue with that?  Thank you, Lord!

It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects[actually, beats to a pulp!]... At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain.Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God. Hebrews 12:7,11 Message

Many of you are going through difficulties of every kind...excruciating, even life threatening health problems, mental and emotional heartache, relational stresses, and the list goes on. We have no idea what the Father is doing in His sovereignty.

But one thing we can count on is that He is shining us up more and more to look like His glorious Son Who indwells us.

So let's embrace Him and our life and believe with all our hearts that nothing is wasted in His almighty, loving Fatherly Hands.

nothing is wasted, jason gray

PLEASE click on this link to view an awesome video of this song: Nothing is wasted -- Jason Gray

The hurt that broke your heart And left you trembling in the dark Feeling lost and alone Will tell you hope's a lie But what if every tear you cry Will seed the ground where joy will grow

And nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

It's from the deepest wounds That beauty finds a place to bloom And you will see before the end That every broken piece is Gathered in the heart of Jesus And what's lost will be found again

Nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

From the ruins From the ashes Beauty will rise From the wreckage From the darkness Glory will shine Glory will shine

Nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

From the ruins From the ashes Beauty will rise From the wreckage From the darkness Glory will shine Glory will shine

nothing wasted

You might also like to look at "In Pain...two Things I Know"

The Father's Sandpaper

Tears-150x150-1

It's a precious relationship...but why is it so hard...and painful? We keep "missing" each other!  Maybe we don't "get" each other?

I keep trying to respect boundaries and be "circumspect" in what I say and do...and then it comes:  stuff from the past, mistakes in the present...at times, I am responsible...other times, I feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Not the sweetness and light I keep hoping for!

Lord, why?  Why is it so hard?  How do I navigate this relationship?

Then comes His still, small voice:

This relationship is Sandpaper in My Hands to shine you up...to get those rough places smooth!

sandpaper

Now how can I argue with that?  Thank you, Lord!

It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects[actually, beats to a pulp!]... At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain.Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God. Hebrews 12:7,11 Message

Many of you are going through difficulties of every kind...excruciating, even life threatening health problems, mental and emotional heartache, relational stresses, and the list goes on. We have no idea what the Father is doing in His sovereignty.

But one thing we can count on is that He is shining us up more and more to look like His glorious Son Who indwells us.

So let's embrace Him and our life and believe with all our hearts that nothing is wasted in His almighty, loving Fatherly Hands.

nothing is wasted, jason gray

PLEASE click on this link to view an awesome video of this song: Nothing is wasted -- Jason Gray

The hurt that broke your heart And left you trembling in the dark Feeling lost and alone Will tell you hope's a lie But what if every tear you cry Will seed the ground where joy will grow

And nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

It's from the deepest wounds That beauty finds a place to bloom And you will see before the end That every broken piece is Gathered in the heart of Jesus And what's lost will be found again

Nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

From the ruins From the ashes Beauty will rise From the wreckage From the darkness Glory will shine Glory will shine

Nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

From the ruins From the ashes Beauty will rise From the wreckage From the darkness Glory will shine Glory will shine

nothing wasted

You might also like to look at "In Pain...two Things I Know"

Embracing my Today...TODAY!

Sharing this post from my first year of blogging 2011. I need it again. How about you?

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us be glad and rejoice in it! Psalm 118:24

Esther at her wedding , 80 years old

Several years ago, I received an email from a dear friend and former college roommate DeeDee.  She sent this email to family and friends to memorialize her mom who had just passed away at the age of 105.  I remember DeeDee's mom Esther as a "spunky lady" who "embraced  life."  The email reflected just that and was entitled "Esther's motto."

Today Outside my window, a new day I see, And only I can determine what kind of day it will be, It can be busy and sunny, Laughing and gay, Or boring and cold, unhappy And grey, My own state of mind is the determining key, For I am only the person I let myself be,

I can be thoughtful and do all I can to help, Or be selfish and think just of myself, I can enjoy what I do and make it seem fun, Or gripe and complain and make It hard on someone, I can be patient with those

Diana & Esther

Who may not understand, Or belittle and hurt them as Much as I can, But I have faith in myself, And believe what I say And I personally intend to Make the best of each day.

----------------------------------------------------

Now I don't think DeeDee or Esther would say that having a positive attitude is the answer to our every problem.  But knowing them, I do think they would say, "Embrace your today!  Hug it to your breast, and live it with courage, tenacity, and unselfishness."

I was thinking about this very thing as my husband John was going through cardiac rehab.   John's heart attack in July 2012 was in the artery that doctor's call "the widow maker."  So I am well aware that I could have become a widow that very day, as many of our college friends and other peers had already become.  And John could have said good-bye to this earth and joined those loved ones now with the Lord.

So here are some of my reflections on TODAY:

1.  TODAY is a gift.  It's all I have...and it has been given to me by my Creator.

This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

2.  TODAY will never be again. It is totally unique with unique challenges and opportunities.  Yesterday is gone...tomorrow is in the mind of God.

Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." James 4:13-14 [See also Psalm 90:3-6; Luke 12:22-32]

3.  TODAY is filled with opportunities:

*The opportunity to "love on" those around me -- my husband, my children, my grandsons, my neighbors, my friends, my co-workers, my students, and others who may cross my path today.

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13 NIV

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ...Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Gal 6:2,10 NIV

On facebook, my daughter Beth had just posted a cute little story about my then 5 year old grandson Kaden.

Kaden in school

Kaden said to Beth, "Did you know we each have an invisible bucket of happiness, and when we are mean, it is like dumping somebody's bucket?"

Kaden had just said hi to the neighbor and told his mom that he was filling up her bucket.  Apparently this was from a kindergarten lesson based on the book, Have You Filled a Bucket Today by Carol McCloud.  Wow, maybe I need to go back to kindergarten...or at least read the book!

*The opportunity to do my work with all the skill that God has put in me.  There is great satisfaction in doing my work well, whether it's at home or at my job.

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom. Eccl 9:10a NIV

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.  If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. 1Peter 4:10-11 NIV

*The opportunity to walk with GOD, the Eternal I AM in a deeper way, hearing His voice and following Him.  And this, of course, is most important of all!

For he says, "In a favorable time I listened to you, and in a day of salvation I have helped you." Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation. 2Cor 6:2

So, as the Holy Spirit says: “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the wilderness..." Hebrews 3:7-8

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. John 10:27

Over the years, one of my favorite studies to teach from the Scriptures has been the Old Testament Names of God.  In that study, one of the most exciting insights is that God's memorial name Jehovah, meaning I AM, expresses a God Who is eternally Present, totally above and beyond our chronological time, yet totally present in it with us and for us.  In the course of teaching that study, the Holy Spirit moved upon my heart to write a meditation in the first person.  I pray that this brief meditation will fill you with courage and excitement to embrace your today also:

All that I AM, I AM for you!  I am everything and anything that you will ever need:

I AM ELOHIM, your Creator.  I made you exactly the way you are.  You can be the unique person I created you to be.  You don’t have to fit into someone else’s mold or picture of what you should be.

I AM EL ELYON, your God most High, the Sovereign Ruler of the universe.  I am in control over all your circumstances.  I am weaving all your hurts and failures into my sovereign plan for My glory, bringing good out of them for yourself and others, as you trust Me.

I AM EL ROI, your God Who Sees and cares about every trial and heartache and injustice.  Others may judge you and use you and write you off, but I don’t.  I care and open My arms wide to receive you and bless you.

I AM ADONAI, your loving Lord and Master.  Present your body to me.  I will lead you in my good, pleasing, and perfect will (Romans 12: 12-2).  You can trust Me to be all that you need and to use you in My kingdom.

I AM EL SHADDAI, your All-Sufficient God.  “Open your mouth wide and I will fill it” (Psalm 81: 10.)  I am the Source of all you will ever need.  I am your strength and the fulfiller of all My promises to you, my child.

I AM JEHOVAH-JIREH, your LORD Who Provides.  I provided a Substitute, My Son the Lamb, for you, so that you could be saved and enter into relationship with Me your God and Father.  I have wiped away all your guilt and shame.

I AM JEHOVAH, your “I AM”, your Self-Existent LORD.  I am your life always and forever.

I AM JEHOVAH-RAPHA, the LORD your Healer.  I am the source of all your healing;  physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual.

I AM JEHOVAH-NISSI, the LORD your Banner.  I give you victory over all your enemies:  the world, the flesh, and the devil.  They are conquered foes as you rest in Me.

I AM JEHOVAH-MEKODDISHKEM, the LORD Who Sanctifies You.  You can rest from your self-effort.  Why do you try to do for yourself by your own religious good works what only I can do—make you holy?  Throw off that “yoke of bondage” (Galatians).  I came to set you free!  “And if the Son shall make your free, you shall be free indeed” (John 8).  Rest in Me and I will sanctify you.  I will do it!

I AM JEHOVAH-SHALOM, the LORD Who Himself is your Peace.  Because of My presence within you, I can provide the peace that passes understanding no matter what the circumstances.  Trust and rest in Me.

I AM JEHOVAH-SABBAOTH, your LORD of Hosts.  Greater am I Who is in you than my enemy who is in the world.  Victory is secure—I have all the forces of heaven and earth at My command.  Come to Me when you are at the end of your rope.  You are more than a conqueror in Me and My Love.

I AM JEHOVAH-RAAH, the LORD your Shepherd, Who seeks after, nurtures, protects, leads, and speaks to you your whole life.  You are perfectly cared for and secure in My loving arms (john 10: 27-29).

I AM JEHOVAH-TSIDKENU, the LORD your Righteousness. You are fully righteous and acceptable to Me because you are in My Son.  He actually became sin when He died on the Cross, so that you could become His righteousness.  Glory in that, dear child!

I AM JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH, your LORD Who is There.  I have said (and I won’t change My mind), I will never leave you, nor will I ever, ever forsake you. So you can confidently say in every situation, The Lord is my Helper.  I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me? (Hebrews 13: 5b-6)  You are My home (John 15), My sanctuary (1Cor 6: 19-20; Col 1: 27).

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

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the boys goofing around 2010

Choose your Face...Change your Day 

Speak a Blessing...Be a Blessing

hugging a tree

Is there someone in your life that needs hope and encouragement? How about all of us? While preparing recently to teach a study on Hebrews 11, God's Hall of Faith, I read, as if for the first time, about two of the patriarchs that I rarely ever think of in connection with faith: Isaac and Jacob.

By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future. By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph’s sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff. Hebrews 11:20-21 NIV

Yes, that word blessed jumped out at me. And I remembered a significant moment in time on the last day of a preschool class I taught back in 1998-1999. It was significant because of what the Lord did and what He taught me as a result.

Why not reminisce with me via a blog I wrote to celebrate my "preschoolers" graduation from Xenia Christian High School.  And then answer my original question:

Is there someone in your life that needs hope and encouragement?

tree huggers

Why not be the one to speak a blessing...and be a blessing!

PS If you would like to read my entire "trip into yesteryear," click on Kingdom Academy.

The Blessing 1999

Sometime during the school year, I had read The Blessing by Gary Smalley & John Trent. In that wonderful book, the authors explore our human need for approval and validation. They show how this need was met in the Biblical blessings given by fathers to children. But also we could do this for our children today and for others we care about. The authors listed 5 elements to the Blessing:

1. Meaningful touch 2. Spoken words 3. Expressing High value 4. Picturing a Special Future 5. Active commitment

I intended to use what I learned from this book to bless my own young adult children and the ladies in my Bible study group. I basically left it at that, but God had other ideas.

It was the last day of PK class. We were gathering our things into each child's box. Just as we were all lined up and starting to walk down the hall and out to the waiting moms, the Holy Spirit stopped me. "Bless them!"

PK 98 last day

So there in the hallway, I laid my hands on them one by one and prayed over each in turn...unique words and blessings for every child. I wish I had journaled the blessings...alas! I didn't :(

But what I'll never forget are the eager little faces...as each child waited his turn to be blessed!

No dry eyes for me...and a lesson learned in the value of blessing others!

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

I Am A Promise I am a promise I am a possibility I am a promise with a capital “P” I am a great big bundle of potentiality And I am learnin’ to hear God’s voice And I am tryin’ to make the right choice I am a promise to be anything God wants me to be.

I can go anywhere that He wants me to go I can be anything He wants me to be I can climb the high mountains I can cross the wide sea I’m a great big promise you see!

I am a promise I am a possibility I am a promise with a capital “P” I am a great big bundle of potentiality And I am learnin’ to hear God’s voice And I am tryin’ to make the right choice

I’m a promise to be anything God wants me to be Anything God wants me to be!