Choose Your "Face"...Change Your Day

Just as water mirrors your face, so your face mirrors your heart. Proverbs 27:19

I love 4 year olds...they understand so much!  I keep telling 4 year old grandson Evan that we choose our attitude.  And he gets it!

I didn’t always think that was true, but the older I get the more I believe our choosing has a lot to do with it. And if we are children of God, the living, indwelling Christ empowers us to have an appropriate attitude for the situation.

I experienced this simple truth with another 4 year old when I was teaching preschool many years ago.

It was getting toward the end of the school year...maybe April or early May.  I was reflecting on the precious group of "free spirits" entrusted to my care that year.  The Lord had done some amazing spiritual work in the lives of those five four-year-old's and in my own life as their teacher.

But I was somewhat distressed, feeling that I hadn't quite "reached" one little boy.  I felt that way because he usually looked stressed.  And he often had a negative expression on his face...what might be called a "NO" face.  Somewhat resigned to the fact that "you can't win them all," I just kept on doing what we were doing.

One day, the children were washing their hands two by two.  Little Johnny (not his real name) was not acting properly toward the child at the sink with him.  So of course, I reprimanded him.  He glared at me with his "NO " face, obviously not happy!

I said, "Johnny, don't give me that face!  Give me a gentle face!"  Immediately, Johnny changed his face...and peace came over him!  I was amazed!

Then just about an hour later, we were lining up by the door to go home.  At the end of each class day, I would stand at the door and face the children, waiting until they formed a line in front of me.  Then we would proceed down the hall and out to the waiting moms.  I looked at Johnny who, at that point, had the usual, somewhat negative, expression on his face.  When he made eye contact with me, he must have remembered our little interchange at the sink.  He immediately relaxed his expression and smiled.

Later I asked the Lord about it.  "Lord, what just happened?"  He led me to an incredible Scripture I had never noticed before:

A man's wisdom illumines his face and causes his stern face to change. Ecclesiastes 8:1b  NASB

Days later, Johnny's mom came up to me and said, "Jan, you changed Johnny's life!"  She had seen a new peace in her child.  And I praised God, knowing it wasn't me who made the change, but the Holy Spirit working in one little boy's life by enabling him to "change his face."

Just a few weeks ago, this very thread ran through discussion with a group of friends.  One woman said she wanted to be more gentle, so the Lord led her to start closing doors and cabinets quietly.  Another person wanted to not respond to mistakes in anger and frustration, so he began to speak out a gentle answer and found that it turned away his own wrath. (Proverbs 15:1)

The other day, John and I went to his cardiac rehab class called, "The Emotional Side of Heart Disease."

This was an excellent class about managing stress...especially the stresses associated with having just suffered a heart attack.  We both looked at each other when Patty, the rehab nurse read an excerpt from an article called, "Laughter Really is the Best Medicine."

Move joyfully.  If you wake up in a bad mood, act like you're in a good mood, and your body can actually 'fake out' your own brain.  It's called 'fake it till you make it.'  When the copier breaks down in the office, instead of hitting it, try twirling while you tell people the copier isn't working.  Trust me, when you do this, it's impossible to feel stressed.  By substituting playful gestures for angry ones, your brain often short-circuits your own stress.

I'm not so sure I can see my engineer husband twirling at the copier, but this principle seems to be at the heart of the way the body and mind work together.

But the even better news for us believers is that we have the mind of Christ, and so we can choose to submit our body to Him and His indwelling life. We can "chose our face" and expect that His empowering, indwelling, resurrection Life will live through us...as us, all to the glory of His Name!

So dear brothers and sisters, "chose your face"...and change the way you live your human life in this world...to the glory of God!

...we have the mind of Christ. 1Cor 2:16b

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.  Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Phil 2:5-8

LIVING from a Reservoir

my men

You cannot impart what you do not possess!This was a favorite saying of Dr. Howard Hendricks of Dallas Theological Seminary.

John & I had the privilege of sitting under Dr. Hendricks' teaching in the 1980's at DTS. No matter the class, whether it was "Bible Study Methods" or the "Christian Home," this profound little truth would punctuate the "Prof's" lectures.

In my last post, we talked about Teaching from a Reservoir.  If Dr. Hendricks' statement is true, then teaching (or whatever we are doing) from a reservoir presupposes LIVING FROM THE RESERVOIR -- the reservoir of truth in relationship with Him who is the TRUTH.

roosevelt dam overflow

So in a very real sense, whether it's parenting, teaching, "friending," "neighboring," working, ministering to others in a physical, emotional, or spiritual sense...you can NOT impart what you do NOT possess. And you cannot possess anything of real, spiritual value unless it is received from the Giver of every good and perfect gift (James 1:17).

When I was teaching preschool at Xenia Christian in the late 1990's, one of the perks I loved was Teacher Devotions.  I'll never forget the verse that a colleague shared one morning before class:

The Sovereign LORD has given me an instructed tongue [tongue of a learner], to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught. Is 50:4 NIV

It's so easy to give out and give out and give out again...only to find ourselves running on empty.  I think especially of moms...talk about pouring yourself out for others!

How do we have what we need for whatever comes our way? Our usual way is to try to figure out what to say and do...or go get advice from a friend or expert, instead of going to Him who has the words of life (John 6:68-69).

While meditating on Is 50:4 one day, the Lord gave me a practical way to apply this truth to my life. It's by remembering 3 W"s -- Waiting, Weaving, and Working:

WAITING on the LORD. The verse begins with theSovereign LORD being the Giver.  That means that we are the receivers! So waiting on Him is key...rather than running around frantically to every other "source". And He has a tremendous promise for those of us who wait on Him:He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:29-31

WEAVING the LORD and His WORD throughout our day. It starts out morning by morning -- listening to Him. We awaken with thoughts of Him, giving up the day to His care. It ends with thanksgiving and trust for what came our way that day. In between, there can be short, sentence prayers...practicing the presence of Christ through out the day by conversing with Him, our best Friend -- listening and even journaling as we go through our day.

One of my fictitious heroes of all time is Tevye, the father in the film The Fiddler on the Roof.  The reason I love him so much is because of his relationship with God portrayed in that film.  He so easily talks with God -- being very real with Him about his frustrations and desires, truly weaving Him throughout his day.

The classic Tevye is especially seen in his dialog and song "If I Were a Rich Man."  There's a little section of that charming song where Tevye reveals to the Lord that the sweetest thing about being rich would be:

If I were rich, I'd have the time that I lack To sit in the synagogue and pray. And maybe have a seat by the Eastern wall. And I'd discuss the holy books with the learned men, several hours every day. That would be the sweetest thing of all.

Tevye longs for the Word of God in ever growing depths.  Is that our desire too?  As with Tevye, it may be difficult for the longer times of devotion and Bible study, though it's well worth the effort to make that a high priority.   But what about also leaving the open Bible on the counter-top, desk, end table...grabbing snippets of the Word during those "open spaces" in the day?  Playing Christian music (instrumental and otherwise) and Bible teaching in the car, at home, in the classroom, at the gym, on walks/runs could permeate our days with peace and richness that come from thoughts of our Lord.

I love this verse: Open your mouth wide and I will fill it. Psalm 81:10 "Lord, I'm opening my mouth and my ears, fill them as You promised."

WORKING by HIS strength, wisdom, and insight Then with the instructed tongue, the tongue of a learner, we will have the words to sustain the weary oneswhether in the home, the classroom, the neighborhood, the workplace, the grocery store, on the telephone, on facebook -- wherever God may place us that day. This will be true because it won't be us, but HIM through us -- as us, His students/disciples living from the Reservoir of the Word in relationship with the Living WORD!

Oswald Chambers, in his classic devotional My Utmost for His Highest (September 2) speaks to this point:

He that believeth in Me . . out of him shall flow... .John 7:38

Jesus did not say - "he that believeth in Me shall realize the blessing of the fulness of God," but - "he that believeth in Me out of him shall escape everything he receives." Our Lord's teaching is always anti -self-realization. His purpose is not the development of a man; His purpose is to make a man exactly like Himself, and the characteristic of the Son of God is self-expenditure. If we believe in Jesus, it is not what we gain, but what He pours through us that counts. It is not that God makes us beautifully rounded grapes, but that He squeezes the sweetness out of us. Spiritually, we cannot measure our life by success, but only by what God pours through us, and we cannot measure that at all.

When Mary of Bethany broke the box of precious ointment and poured it on Jesus' head, it was an act for which no one else saw any occasion; the disciples said it was a waste. But Jesus commended Mary for her extravagant act of devotion, and said that wherever His gospel was preached "this also that she hath done shall be spoken of for a memorial of her." Our Lord is carried beyond Himself with joy when He sees any of us doing what Mary did, not being set on this or that economy, but being abandoned to Him. God spilt the life of His Son that the world might be saved; are we prepared to spill out our lives for Him?

"He that believeth in Me out of him shall flow rivers of living water" - hundreds of other lives will be continually refreshed. It is time now to break the life, to cease craving for satisfaction, and to spill the thing out. Our Lord is asking who of us will do it for Him?

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Colossians 3:16-17

For further study look at Luke 6:39-49.  List everything the Holy Spirit "highlights to your heart" about teaching and being a "learner" (disciple).

Teaching from a Reservoir

...Jesus stood up and cried out, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink.  Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, 'Out of his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.'" John 7:37-38

In the early fall of 2000, John & I were blessed by a visit from Dr Marvin Mayer and his wife Shirley. Dr. Mayer had just retired from many years of teaching Bible and Theology at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago.  John & I were students at MBI in the 1970's.  Dr. Mayer fast became one of my favorite professors and "spiritual father," with a continuing relationship over the years.

On this particular visit, I got up early so I could walk with Dr M in the morning before he and Shirley left to return home to Illinois.  As we walked and talked, he spoke of his years of teaching and made a statement that grabbed my attention:  "I teach from a reservoir." I knew what he meant in the context of our conversation.  He taught his theology and Bible classes from a plethora of Scriptural knowledge and doctrine as a result of years of study and teaching.

But as I continued to reflect on this statement in the following days, I realized that the reservoir that Dr Mayer taught from was not just that of Bible truth, but rather truth in relationship with Him who is Truth Himself. I recalled Dr M's classes and the prayers he prayed and the hymns he sang, while we joined in. :)  His passion for the God he taught about was so evident to us students.

A few years later in the midst of a conversation with my daughter about motherhood, the Lord brought to mind a verse that was for me an obscure one.  This verse beautifully illustrates the exact point about teaching from the reservoir of truth in relationship with Him who is Truth.

He said to them, “Therefore every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a head of a household, who brings forth out of his treasure things new and old." Matthew 13:52 NASB

The scribes were the teachers/experts in Scripture truth, who may or may not have had a personal relationship with the God about whom they taught.  But in this verse, Jesus says that if a person knows the Scriptures well AND becomes His disciple (which means being attached to Him the Teacher, not just His teaching), he will have a reservoir or treasure [same Greek word] from which to draw in teaching and ministering to others -- new truth added in with known (old) truth, whatever is needed at the time. And all in relationship with Him who is the Truth.

It's kind of like my kitchen cabinet.  Because I have that treasure/reservoir of pottery, I can go in there and pull out some of my new Polish pottery and arrange it on the table to make a beautiful setting with an old blue and white pitcher.

What about YOU, dear teacher/ home school mom? What is the reservoir YOU are drawing from?

Is it your slick methodology, your fancy hi-tech curriculum, your astounding expertise?  All of those may be wonderful, but ONLY if you are a disciple of the MASTER TEACHER Himself, submitting to Him and His Word.  Then you will be teaching from the vast reservoir of truth found in relationship with Him who is the Truth!

Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God.  Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. 2Cor 3:4-6

...God’s mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge....For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him...  Col 2:2b-3,9-10

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. 2Tim 3:16-17

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.... If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. John 15:4-5,7

More to come in the next post Living from a Reservoir

For further study look at Luke 6:39-49.  List everything the Holy Spirit "highlights to your heart" about teaching and being a "learner" (disciple).

Caught in the Web

LOOK carefully!  Can you see it?  A perfectly formed circular spider web hanging across a path...suspended by a "thread"!  This is the amazing sight my friend Penny and I happened upon early one morning as we were walking down some little-traveled paths in a wooded area in my neighborhood.

Here was one spider who was serious!   She was ready to get a "good catch" that day!

There was a period of my life when I was a "good catch" in a craftily constructed web -- not made by earthly designs but that of the father of lies (John 8:44).

It started out with a series of real, and perhaps imagined, rejections...which then developed into a LIE.  It wouldn't have been so bad if I had recognized it for what it was...but I didn't.  And so I embraced it as truth and struggled for many years.

It caused me much pain, along with fear and confusion!  It influenced my behavior!  And it even started to poison other areas and relationships.

Finally, by the time I recognized it as a LIE, I was so bound up in it, that I couldn't get free.  I prayed!  I cried!  I tried to act against it!  I attempted the mental mind games!  I asked my praying friends to pray!  I asked my husband to pray!  All in vain!  UNTIL last summer...

I was reading & meditating in the little book of Colossians...preparing to teach it for the third time.  (I told you I was a slow learner!) I read,

Since you have been raised with Christ, keep seeking the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God... For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God... Colossians 3:1-3

All of a sudden in that moment, the Spirit of God brought the LIE to my mind, and with it came the realization: "Wait a minute!  I DIED to that LIE!"

That very moment, the power of that LIE was broken in my experience!  Here I had been begging and pleading for the Lord to do something that He had already done through the Cross of Christ.  But I had not recognized it by faith in my particular situation.  Once I did, everything changed :)  I was set free from the fear, confusion, the agonizing emotions that the LIE produced in me.

You may ask me how I know that this is true?  The key is found in the little Scriptural word with.  This little particular word in the Greek has the idea of intimate union--a union that nothing can break. Devotional writers of previous generations called this "the believer's mystical union with Christ" of which marriage is a picture (Ephesians 5:25-32).

One of my favorite Bible teachers Wayne Barber (of Precept Bible Studies fame) illustrates this life union by what he calls "Biscuits for Jesus."  [I'm going to expand his illustration a bit to include all three words Greek words translated "with".]

There are certain ingredients that go into making biscuits:  flour, salt, baking powder, milk, sugar (if you're Polish like me), and shortening (namely butter, if you're Polish like me).  Anyway, as you gather the ingredients and place them next to each other on the kitchen counter, you could say that they are with each other (para, in the Greek), meaning alongside.  Then if you take them and place them in a bowl one by one, you might say that the ingredients are with each other (meta, in the Greek), meaning closely associated with.  At this point, each of the ingredients is separate from each other.  Even in the bowl, you could skillfully separate the ingredients from each other to some extent.

BUT once you mix those ingredients together, roll them out and cut them, place them on the cookie sheet and bake them, there is no way you can separate those ingredients from each other.  There is a mysterious union of ingredients called "biscuits"  :)  That's the Greek word sun, meaning united together with.  And this little word is our word found in Colossians 3 (above) as well as these significant Scriptures (and many more):

I have been crucified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.  And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2:20

Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?  We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.  For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.... So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. Romans 6:3-11 ESV

So what does this mean?  It means that...

when Christ died, I died! when Christ was buried, I was buried! when Christ was raised, I was raised to newness of life!

And what did I die to?

I died to sin!   (Col 2:13; Romans 6:3-14; Eph 2:1-7; 2Cor 5:21) I died to self!  (Gal 2:20; 2Cor 5:17; Rom 6:3-14) I died to the flesh!  (Col 2:11-12; Rom 8:1-10) I died to the world! (Col 2:8; Gal 6:14) I died to the Law ("to do list" religion)!  (Rom 7:4,6; Gal 3:10,13,24-25; Col 2:14) AND I died to the power of Satan, whose main tactics are lies and accusation!  (Col 2:15; Heb 2:14-15; Eph 1:19-21;6:10ff)

So now when that nasty LIE and related accusations and condemnations rear their ugly heads, I just say "Wait a minute!  I died to that!  And I'm alive united with my Lord...adequate in and through Him to be what He has made me to be in this situation." (2Cor 2:15-16;3:5-6)

What lies, accusations, expectations, condemnations are you struggling with today, O child of God?  You died to those!  And now you live to walk in newness of life because of the One you are united with in His fulness!

So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective. Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ. Colossians 3:1-4 MESSAGE

C-C-C-C-Courage...and So Much More

In this world, you will have trouble,But take courage, I have overcome the world!John 16:33

Who doesn't love the classic movie The Wizard of Oz?  And of all the characters, the Cowardly Lion is a favorite!  Why is that, I wonder?  Could it be that we see ourselves in him -- while putting on a brave front to face life, we find that, in reality, we are scared little "kitties" inside?

I especially love the lion's "courage monologue":

COWARDLY LION:  Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot? What have they got that I ain't got?

DOROTHY, SCARECROW, TINMAN: Courage!

COWARDLY LION: You can say that again!

Can you identify? I can...

And that's how I felt with teaching and speaking in a front of people.  I was inwardly terrified!  I felt a lot of shame about this, because I wanted to trust God completely.  (I've since found out, though, that speaking in public is one of the top fears among women -- go figure!)  Anyway, this fear was debilitating...often to the point of physical illness.

This was especially true when it came to a big meeting connected to my job with a local Christian school.  I used to be a home school coordinator, and in those early days, I had a very large group of families to help.  At the end of the summer each year, we would meet as a group with all our families -- new and returning.  At that time, we would tell them about ourselves, encourage them, and explain how the program ran.

Well, I dreaded it!  Not because they were a hostile group...in fact the opposite was true!  And they loved me to boot!

DCS homeschool moms 2009

So in my mind, this fear was totally illogical and unfounded!  I talked to myself and the Lord about it...but to no avail.  It would ruin my whole summer every year!  UNTIL...

One summer, I was agonizing as usual over the big home school meeting. In the midst of my agony, I thought to myself, "I need courage!"  So I proceeded to beg, plead, pray for courage.  I tried to do my best "courage self-talk".  All to no avail!  I was still a wreck!

In the meantime, that summer I happened to be teaching the little book of Colossians...for the 2nd time (I'm a slow learner!).  As I was preparing to teach the second chapter, the Holy Spirit highlighted two verses to my mind and heart:

For in Him [Christ] the whole fulness of deity [God] dwells bodily, and you have been filled in Him... Colossians 2:9-10 ESV

All of a sudden the realization came crashing through:  Jesus wasn't a wimp! Remember how He stood up to the Pharisees -- not exactly a friendly audience!  Courage is part of the fulness of God in Christ.   And the courageous God Christ lives within me.  He will live His courageous life through me as I trust Him! That's what being filled in Him means.  No more begging, pleading, self-talk, Christian mental mind games!  No more shame & despair!

So I decided to trust the Courageous Christ.  And guess what?  He WAS courageous through me so that I could relax and be my charming :) self--to the glory of God!  And it broke the bondage for me in those situations...now I have normal levels of nervousness.  And I know that every situation is a new opportunity to trust the full Christ within to be who He is in and through me.

So do you need courage today?  The Courageous Christ will be courageous through you as you trust Him. Do you need love today?  The Loving Christ will love through you as you trust Him. Do you need to forgive today?  The Forgiving Christ will forgive through you as you trust Him. Do you need patience today?  The Patient Christ will be patient through you as you trust Him. Do you need _______ today?  (You fill in the blank)  The _________ Christ will be ________ through you as you trust Him.

If you are a child of God through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, the full Christ lives within you.  He is full through you as you trust Him!  It's the devil's lie to get us to think of ourselves as separate from our Lord.  He's not up there, and we're down here, praying He throws down a little courage (or whatever) if we pray correctly!  NO!  We are one with Him...united in a way that nothing in heaven or earth can separate!

I have been crucified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.  And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2:20

So, dear sisters & brothers, look at whatever you are facing today as your opportunity to experience Him in His fulness!  Praise His Holy Name!

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence. 2Peter 1:3 ESV

...that you may be filled with all the fulness of God. Eph 3:19b ESV

Love and Trouble and Joy...LIFE

John at MVH 7-14-11

In this world, you will have trouble...[like heart attacks]...but take courage, I have overcome the world! These things have I spoken to you that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be made full! John 16:33;15:11

I'm just beginning to process my husband John's heart attack that happened earlier this week.  Believe it or not, despite the fears and tears (that were locked up inside of me for a time), I've had the incredible peace and joy that the Lord promises.  Those of you who have walked consciously in and with the Lord through trials know what I mean!

The joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 10
In Thy presence there is fulness of joy... Psalm 16:11

The Lord has shown Himself near and caring through...

....giving me two significant verses to hang onto:  Phil 1:6 and Isaiah 26:3-4 ...my neighbor Nancy and my friend Penny dropping everything early in their day to play and pray with our two young grandsons who had slept over so I could follow after the ambulance to the hospital ...a Christian male nurse grabbing both our hands and praying with us just after John arrived in the ICU ...my being able to watch my husband "chatting it up" with the medical personnel, showing forth the loving Jesus who lives within him ...our son Jeremy and daughter-in-law Cortney driving 7 hours and ending their 10 year anniversary trip early to be here ...our daughter Beth in California and my friend Maria, after a long day at work, each calling the night I needed to "unlock some frozen tears." ...and of course, many loving family and friends sending timely messages via facebook, texts, emails, calls, and visits (Thank you so much!)

As if all this love wasn't enough, I've experienced the Lord's "winks" this week -- little delightful "serendipidies" proving that He is here and He cares -- namely through a poem and a song.

I've never been much of a "poetry buff"...just never got it until I lived life a little more.  Now I get it!  The poem that "captured me" was hidden at the end of a novel I was struggling for months to finish!  Now I know why I struggled so long...God's timing!  I needed that poem this week :)  And I'll let it speak for itself:

Life
Paul Laurence Dunbar

A crust of bread and a corner to sleep in,
A minute to smile and an hour to weep in,
A pint of joy to a peck of trouble,
And never a laugh but the moans come double;
And that is life!

A crust and a corner that love makes precious,
With a smile to warm and the tears to refresh us;
And joy seems sweeter when cares come after,
And a moan is the finest of foils for laughter;
And that is life!

AMEN!

Then there's the song.  A few weeks ago, a friend told us about a movie she had just seen on Netflix.  John and I watched and enjoyed it.  But the thing that stayed with us most was the theme song.  We just couldn't get it out of our minds -- the melody was so haunting and romantic.  So we found it and ordered it on Amazon.

Well, guess what?  It came while John was in the hospital.  So the night of his "release", we sat and listened to it...talking, crying, not talking, laughing, just being together...and agreeing with Robert Browning,

Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made. Our times are in his hand who saith, 'A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!'

The Water is Wide

The water is wide, I cannot get o'er
Neither have I wings to fly
Give me a boat that can carry two
And both shall cross my true love and I
I lean'd my back against an oak
Thinking it was a mighty tree
But first it bent and then it broke
So did my love prove false to me
I put my hand in some soft bush
Thinking the sweetest flow'are to find
I prick'd my finger to the bone
And left the sweetest flow'are behind
O love is handsome and love is kind
Gay as a jewel when it is new
But love grows old and waxes cold
And fades away like the morning dew 
The water is wide, I cannot get o'er
Neither have I wings to fly
Give me a boat that can carry two
And both shall cross my true love and I

Lessons from a Family Vacation: Expectations Transformed

Jan at Barnegat Lighthouse 2000

LBI...Long Beach Island, New Jersey -- sun, surf, and sweet memories.  Home of Surf City and Barnegat Lighthouse!   LBI was a favorite place for us Renners to vacation in our growing up years in the 1950's & 60's -- not every year but as many years as our family of 6 (and later 7) kids and 2 parents, living on one income, could afford.

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It was such a beloved place that my brother Conrad and family bought a beach house there in 1998...within a block from the beach, no less!

One year, when our kids were grown but not yet married and out of the nest, we had the most wonderful Renner family reunion at LBI.  Conrad scouted out other houses on his street that were for rent. And so several of us rented for the same week, and we all (along with in-laws, friends, and pets) descended upon that little beach community.

Family reunion at LBI 2000

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It was a glorious week, filled with swimming, sun-bathing, sunrise watching, etc etc.  But the best thing was the love and togetherness and community that "happened".  We shared meals together, each family taking a turn.

A year or two later, some of us rented houses again at LBI.  I was hoping to recapture the same experience of that previous vacation together.  Well, you know how that goes.  Recapturing "glory" usually never happens.  And it certainly didn't happen this time...or so I thought!

For one thing, we all couldn't make it...for various valid reasons.  On top of that, my brother Paul's family, including his sister-in-law's family, rented a house that was germ infested (probably from the previous renters).  Everyday other members of their families "would drop like flies" with a terrible flu-bug.  So there was often a "skeletal crew" on the beach from that household.

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We didn't eat together like the other year.  There was little to no fellowship or community because of struggles going on in individual lives.  My widowed mom, then in her mid-70"s, was staying with us. (Remember her?  My hero in a previous post!)  She was frustrated with issues related to our family house, which was too much for her to handle at that stage of her life!  (We probably had waited too long to move her elsewhere.)  So our conversations were largely negative.  She had to get it off her chest, but with my expectations for a nice relaxed vacation, I was hardly as sympathetic as I could have been.

Not to bore you with too many negative details, let's just say that to me the vacation was a total bust!  And I left LBI mad, mad, mad...and feeling cheated!  For the 11 hour drive home from NJ to OH, I seethed.  I couldn't sleep that night!  And I stayed stuck for days despite dealing with some issues I needed to deal with.   Until...

Until the Lord broke through, "Enough!  Now it's over!  You've dealt with what I told you.  NOW when you think of this vacation, I want you to focus on the one hour of joyful bliss we had together."

Oh my goodness!  I had forgotten about that because of my absorption with my disappointment!

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It was the Wednesday of vacation week.  I woke up at 5:45 am totally awake.  Grabbing a cup of coffee at Bageleddi's (the local favorite), I walked alone to the beach.  It was warm, and the sun had just started to come up but was not yet visible.  The cloud bank above the ocean was turning shades of pink, purple, and blue...and then the sliver of sun started to appear on the horizon. I opened my Bible and read in the Psalms,

The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship... God has made a home in the heavens for the sun. It bursts forth like a radiant bridegroom after his wedding. It rejoices like a great athlete eager to run the race. The sun rises at one end of the heavens and follows its course to the other end. Psalm 19:1,4-6

So Jesus and I walked and talked together that glorious morning -- perfect rest in Him, enjoying together the most gorgeous sunrise I had truly ever seen.  And I had forgotten it all!

So whenever negative thoughts about vacation would start to again flood my mind, I remembered this one joyful hour of bliss with my Lord.

As the days went by, something amazing started to happen.

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Other pleasant memories of our vacation started to surface:  like my early morning walk to the beach only to discover a delightful sight -- my brothers and nephews fishing in the surf; and the fun supper at the Mud Hut with my husband and adult children; and a surprisingly wonderful conversation with an in-law that I didn't typically connect with.

By God's grace, He saved me from a root of bitterness in my heart.  As I began to reflect on what had happened in me, I started to realize what I've come to believe is a spiritual principle:  We become like what we focus on.

I remembered some of my favorite passages of Scripture:

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another... For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. 2 Cor 3:18: 4:6 ESV

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.  For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Col 3:1-4 NIV

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things... And the God of peace will be with you. Phil 4:8

So here's the question, dear friends:  What's your attitude, your frame of mind, like right now?

Maybe you need to hear the Lord say (as I did), "Focus on Me and remember joy!"

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.  Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3

The Vineyard Revisited: Reflections on Growth

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I just returned from two weeks in Southern California visiting my daughter and family.  During that time, I celebrated another birthday...and to my delight Beth took me to "my vineyard" for lunch at the lovely restaurant there. On the way to the Temecula vineyard area, I was amazed to see how the former ruthlessly pruned vines were now covered with lush green leaves.  You may remember those stark vines in a former post. That was just a little over 3 months ago!

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I wondered about the fruit though, because I do know that usually harvest season is in the fall.  So after lunch, we went to see if we could find "my vine".  Beth lifted some leaves, and we saw a bunch of beautifully formed green (not ripe) grapes.

That has set my mind and heart thinking about growth and maturity and waiting on God, the Master Vinedresser who knows the process from the beginning to end.  He has promised,

He who began a good work in you will perfect it till the day of Christ Jesus. Phil 1:6

So often, I'm impatient with myself and others wanting instant maturity or expecting "fruitfulness" before its time.  I think of Moses as a young man in Egypt.  The book of Acts says that he knew about his call to deliver Israel from Egyptian bondage and actually tried to do so before God's time.

When he was forty years old, it came into his heart to visit his brothers, the children of Israel.  And seeing one of them being wronged, he defended the oppressed man and avenged him by striking down the Egyptian.  He supposed that his brothers would understand that God was giving them salvation by his hand, but they did not understand. Acts 7:23-25 ESV

God still had work to do in Moses life to bring him to the end of himself.  Then he would be ready for the mature "fruit" of being God's instrument of deliverance.

It's the same way with us.  God the Father, our Gardener, promises that as we abide in Christ His True Vine we will produce fruit in increasing measure:

...fruit,...more fruit,... much fruit. John 15:2,5.

He has us in His process!  The Father does whatever is necessary to bring our lives to fruition.

Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he lifts up[alternate translation], and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.John 15:2

Our job is not perfection, but abiding.  But rather we are impatient and really...immature.  We want to experience mature fruit before God's time.

It reminds me of when we were kids in the 1950's.

Janet, Linda, and Nancy in Az next to cactus in 1954?

My family lived on the edge of a desert in Tucson, Arizona in a new housing area consisting of cinder block duplexes, but little else.  Not much grew out there.  But one thing that did grow was melon.  The way I know that is when we kids would eat watermelon, we would spit our seeds to one side of our front porch.  After a time, a watermelon vine would grow carrying a beautiful new melon.  Would we wait till the melon ripened to open it up?  Oh no!  We would impatiently and prematurely crack open that baby, only to see white hard flesh where juicy sweet redness should be.  What a disappointment!

And maybe that's why we are disappointed with our own lives and the lives of our children and others close to us.  There's an interesting verse in the New Testament addressed to fathers, but it could very well be addressed to mothers, daughters, sons, brothers, sisters, other relatives, friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc.  Just substitute alternate relationships for the underlined words:

Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart. Col 3:21

How do we exasperate and frustrate our children and others?  By unrealistic expectations of perfection?  By building walls instead of choosing love in difficult situations with others?  By giving up and not counting on God's working?

In reality, full maturity will will not be reached on this earth.  Rather it will come when we meet Christ face-to-face.  So in the meantime, dear brothers & sisters, let us abide in Him, keep on growing, and extend to each other (and to ourselves) God's grace:

And now, little children, abide in him... Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. 1John 2:28; 3:2

But grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  To Him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen. 2Peter 3:18

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Little Things: A Boy, a Bink’, & and a Blessed Bedtime

Little things...a binkie

God cares about “little” things. I think it was DL Moody who once said that the big things aren’t too big for God’s power; but the LITTLE THINGS aren’t too little for GOD'S LOVE!

I’ve found that to be true in my own life over the years.  A few months ago, I saw that to be true also in the life of my four-year-old grandson Evan.  Several incidents, seemingly unrelated, occurred in his life proving that our loving Heavenly Father cares about this little boy and the “little” things he cares about.

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One of these incidents had to do with a lost bink’. What’s a bink’, you ask?  Well, the formal name is … binkie. You know, the pacifier that, really, four-year-old little boys should no longer have.  But you also know how that goes… (I remember my little brother Billy being coaxed from his “bink” as we traveled through New Mexico with the promise that his bink would grow into a cactus.  I’m not sure the promise worked…but that’s another story).

Anyway, one Tuesday (our regular day together), Evan and little brother Carter were starting to snuggle down into the “campsite/nap area” on the floor on our lower level.  All of a sudden, the heart-stopping realization came upon us…NO BINKIE!  It had been several weeks since he had been here with it…maybe he took it home last time…maybe Mommy & Daddy decided to sneakily put an end to it all, I thought. Well, maybe now’s the time to end this wonderful tradition (binkies for nap-time at grandmas' houses only).  I began in earnest to prepare Evan for the inevitable.

Evan had other ideas: “I NEED my BINKIE to REST!”  My heart went out to him…I looked and looked.  Really, I did!  In the usual places and unusual places.

Again, making eloquent attempts to prepare him for the worst, I did what any desperate grandmother would do….I prayed!  “Lord, if you want Evan to have his binkie, please let it be here and let it come to light!”

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Immediately one more place came to mind…the couch!  The last time Evan was here had been before Christmas for supper with Mommy, Daddy, and Carter.  We were all watching a children’s Christmas special after supper.  Snuggled cozily on the couch, he had received a “dispensation” from his parents about his bink…after all, it was Christmas!  So remembering this, I went upstairs and turned over ONE throw pillow…there it was…Evan’s precious bink!

I ran downstairs and said, “Guess what, Evan.  I prayed and Jesus found your bink!”  His face lit up…one happy little boy and one cozy nap with his little brother, thanks to a loving Heavenly Father who loves to give good gifts to His children…even little ones!

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Every good & perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights. James 1:17

As a footnote, a few days later, Evan said to his mom, “Mom, I lost my bink and God found it really fast!”

…out of the mouths of babes You have prepared praise for Yourself. Matthew 21:16

There are Dads...and then there are DADS

jeremy reading

beach boys

None of us on this earth has had the perfect dad.  Some of us, though, would say we had a pretty darn good one…someone like my friend Shirley.  She describes her dad in two words…”Charles Ingalls”.  You remember him…from Little House on the Prairie fame, the TV Dad played by Michael Landon -- incredibly wise, loving, patient, and fun-loving. There is another dad I would say is in the “Charles Ingalls” category.  He’s my son Jeremy.  Jeremy’s two little boys, Evan and Carter, are simply crazy about him!  Now, I would say that "Babci" (pronounced Bob-chee; Polish for grandma…and my title used by all my grandsons) borders on “rock star” status with those little boys… BUT not when Daddy is around (and rightfully so)!

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One day, I was at their house when Jeremy arrived home.  Suddenly, any attention I was receiving immediately shifted toward the front door as Daddy made his humble, but “bedlam-producing” entrance.  Both Evan and Carter ran over to him screaming, jumping up and down -- each of them vying for his full attention.  Talk about energy and excitement!  This loving, game-playing dad was being smothered by his two adoring sons!  Somehow I can’t imagine that these little guys will have many, if any, “father-issues” growing up.

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This makes me think about another Dad…one much more “Charles Ingalls-like” than Charles Ingalls…or my son Jeremy.  A Father who is perfect in every way:

One who is there for me with love and wisdom and strength as I walk through this sin-cursed, broken world(James 1:5: 2Peter 1:2-3; Eph 3:20-21)

One who bestows every good and perfect gift (James 1:17)

One who gives joy and delight in His presence (Psalm 16:11)

Because of His Son Jesus, I can run to Him fully assured of being received with love and acceptance like Evan and Carter with their daddy (Heb 4:14-16).

Unlike them, however, I don’t have to vie with others for His full attention, because He is uniquely my Abba (Daddy in Bible language).  Yet at the same time, He is Abba for multitudes of other sons and daughters…because He’s our Father GOD, and we are in His Son Jesus Christ(John 14:6; 1Cor 1:30).

So I ask myself, how readily do I run to my Heavenly Father as my source of joy, delight, love, and provision?  Or do I rather turn to the"Babci's" of my life…the lesser “stars”, like appearance, activities, relationships, success, comfort, attention…good gifts, but not the Giver and Lover of my soul.

See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us that we should be called children of God…and SUCH WE ARE! 1John 3:1

Then...and NOW

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This is a sequel to my last post.  Some of you have wondered about those little 4 year-olds and what they must be like now.  So here is bit of past, present, and (potential) future. Look, read, enjoy, and PRAY for these dear young people...that they will each fulfill God's purpose in [their] own generation. Acts 13:3

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Sarah Lusk...now

Sarah says, "I plan on going to Cedarville and double majoring in Psychology/Nursing for the first semester or year. After that I'll either go on to get my PHD in Psychology or maybe become a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner. And that's as far as I 'know' right now!"

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David McNeely...now

David says, "I'm attending Anderson University in the Fall and, for now, the plan is to major in business administration with a minor in entrepreneurship. I've been interested in investment real estate for the past 6 years. Though I have not begun my career in that, I feel as though it is my passion. I feel as though it's what I'm supposed to do. Call me crazy, but it's what I love!"

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Mackenzie 2011

Mackenzie plans to study either Psychology or Social Work.  She will attend a community college and then complete her degree at Wright State University.

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Patrick will be coaching Athletes in Action (AIA) Youth Basketball this summer.  He is planning on attending Johnson University in Knoxville, TN in the fall to study Preaching and Youth Ministry.

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Jared Smiles

Jared says, "Next year I plan to attend Wright State University, with my major still to be decided. I am working full time this summer as an STNA CNA for United Church Homes Trinity Community in Beavercreek and enjoy that very much."  As far as careers go, Jared considers counseling as one of his possibilities.

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When I was preparing for the birth of our first child, I came across a book of proverbs for children.  I framed several of them for the nursery.  My favorite is Proverbs 16:1 (LB):  We make our plans, but God has the final word!

I've found that to be so true in my own life over these many years. As you walk with God, at times you never know where He is taking you...

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..like teaching preschool at Xenia Christian School in 1997-98...

And I wouldn't have missed it for the world!!!!!

So my dear graduates, may this song, sung by Chris Tomlin, be your song also now.. and throughout your entire life:

Preschool 1997...H.S. Graduation 2011

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Back in June 1996, I "retired" from homeschooling.  Beth had graduated from my 8th grade and was then attending Xenia Christian High School.  Jeremy was already a freshman at Grace college.  So I was "foot-loose and fancy-free" (relatively speaking)! Then in December, my friend Donna called to tell me that they needed a preschool teacher at Xenia Christian Elementary for the second semester.  The current teacher was having a baby.

I told her immediately and emphatically, "I don't do preschool!"

But she coaxed me with, "But, Jan, there are only 2 four year old boys in the class."

My daughter Beth said,  "Mom, you've got to do it...you still have lots more mothering left in you!"

I thought, "Wait a minute!  I love four year olds.  That's my favorite age!  I can sort of 'homeschool' 2 four year old boys!" So I took the job, insisting to the principal Bob Colaner that I was only going to take the job till the end of the school year.

Well, guess what happened!  I fell in love with those two little boys, Geoff Evans and Adam Bealert!  And I was hooked for the next two years!

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That leads to the next school year 1997-1998...and the group I affectionately refer to as my "Dream Team":  Sarah Lusk, Mackenzie Nestor, Jared Holloway, David McNeely, and Patrick Penewit.

And these precious persons are graduating from high school this very year.  How could that be?  How did they grow up so fast?  I know you parents of these dear ones are asking those very questions.

You might ask why I think of this class as my "Dream Team"?  This was a group that I could do almost anything with -- they were so cooperative and enjoyable!

One of my favorite things was to go on field trips. [I always say that I was a "field trip mom" when I was raising my own kids.  They accuse me of making every family vacation into a field trip...and I did!]  Well, with just five children who were cooperative, we could go lots of places and do lots of things:  Bowman and Landes Turkey Farm, Sugarcreek Preserve, the library, and others.  At every place, I remember people commenting on how cooperative these 4 year-olds were.  Music to a teacher's heart!

Now, lest you think these children were rigid and boring, I want you to know they each had a unique personality.

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Mackenzie was a born leader-type;

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Sarah, sweet & gentle;

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Patrick, lively and "Tigger-y";

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David, somewhat serious but with a dry wit;

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Jared, positive and fun-loving.

I recorded in my journal an interesting conversation three of us (I'll let you guess who) had on the last day of school that preschool year.  We were eating scrambled eggs (not green!) and toast.

One of the children said, "We are a present to Jesus." Another answered, "What we DO is a present to Jesus." I said, "Who we ARE is a present to Jesus." [see John 17:20,24; Ephesians 1:18] The first one said (with a little glowing face), "Yes, who we ARE is a present to Jesus!"

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And that's how I think of you dear students, now young adults.  You are presents to Jesus, to your families and friends, to the world...and to Mrs Loyd.  Thank you for enriching my life with who you each ARE.  The memories of that year together stay with me.

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And I thank you and your families for your love, prayers, and support during our family crises that very year when my son had cancer and my daughter, surgery.  God used you all in important ways in our lives that year.

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always offering prayer with joy in my every prayer for you all,...for I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:3-4,6

When I was at my grandson's preschool Grandparents Day in February, the children sang a wonderful song that would be just as fitting for my Dream Team's graduation.

So this song comes, dear Sarah, Mackenzie, Jared, David, and Patrick, with wishes and prayers for a future bright with God's promise and blessing.  May each of you follow HIM every day of your lives...because HE IS WORTHY!

I Am A Promise

I am a promise I am a possibility I am a promise with a capital "P" I am a great big bundle of potentiality And I am learnin' to hear God's voice And I am tryin' to make the right choice I am a promise to be anything God wants me to be.

I can go anywhere that He wants me to go I can be anything He wants me to be I can climb the high mountains I can cross the wide sea I'm a great big promise you see!

I am a promise I am a possibility I am a promise with a capital "P" I am a great big bundle of potentiality And I am learnin' to hear God's voice And I am tryin' to make the right choice I'm a promise to be anything God wants me to be Anything God wants me to be!

The God of My Mothering: the ROCK I Can Trust

The wise woman builds her house; But the foolish tears it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1

Jesus liked to teach in "parables":  stories/metaphors that teach a lesson.  One of my favorites is found at the end of the famous "Sermon on the Mount".  Read it in Jesus' own words:

Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man [woman] building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the ROCK. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built.

But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man [woman] who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great. Luke 6:47-49

What does that mean for us moms who are "building our houses" as we raise our children...and as we launch them into adult life?  WHO is the ROCK that Jesus is talking about?

Throughout the Old Testament, God is called a ROCK:

Trust in the LORD forever, For in GOD the LORD, we have an everlasting Rock. Isaiah 26: 4

Jesus, the Son of God, names Himself as the ROCK.

When Peter made his famous profession of faith, “Thou art the Christ, the Son of the Living God,” Jesus replied, “You are Peter (little stone), and upon this ROCK (large rock, bed-rock) I will build my church.” Matthew 16:16-18

Paul confirms this in his letter to the Corinthians:

…For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 3: 10-15

Now the very practical question:  What does it mean as a mom to build upon the Rock that is Christ?

Of course, knowing, living, and then teaching our children the Word of God and God's way of salvation is paramount.  But in 2003, I experienced, in what was to me a very dramatic way, what it means to build upon the ROCK that is Christ.

Our daughter Beth was a junior at University of Dayton, majoring in Art History.  She was taking an archaeology class at the time.  Beth came home one day and said that the professor had invited her, based on some research work she had done in that class, to join a group of college students from the around the country. They would be going on an archaeological dig in Sicily during the summer to the exact site that she had researched.

Needless to say, it freaked me out!  To go that far away, with no one I know...probably no mature Christians, etc, etc!  But I had been learning  through some serious health crises (Jeremy's cancer, Beth's benign tumors, etc) to entrust my children totally to the Lord.  So Beth put in for a grant to fund the trip (because we told her we could give her a wedding or a trip to Sicily:), and we prayed for God's will.  I knew I couldn't stand in the way of God's will for her life.

Well guess what?  Not only did she get the grant, but UD offered her more money than what she applied for.  Now what college ever does that?  To me, it was a confirmation that the Lord was in this no matter how nervous I was about it.

In the meantime, I had been teaching through the Hebrew Names of God.  A cross-reference had captured my imagination.  Writing of the Israelites traveling through the wilderness in the book of Exodus, Paul says,

…our fathers were all under the cloud, and all passed through the sea; and all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea; and all ate the same spiritual food; and all drank the same spiritual drink, for they were drinking from a spiritual rock which followed them; and the Rock was Christ! 1 Corinthians 10: 1-4

What did that mean...the Rock that followed them was Christ?  I would soon find out.

Back to Beth...she was going.  I was praying and trusting.  At our kinship days before her departure, we worshiped the Lord and sang the beautiful song Faithful One.  The lyrics grabbed me:

Faithful One, so unchanging Ageless One, You’re my Rock of Peace Lord of all, I depend on You I call out to You, again and again I call out to You, again and again

You are my Rock, in times of trouble You lift me up when I fall down All through the storm Your love is the anchor My hope is in You alone

The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart: "I will be the ROCK that follows Beth from Columbus to NYC to Rome to Sicily, all around Sicily and wherever she travels, back to Rome, to NYC, to Columbus, and safely home again.

I had perfect peace!  We took her to the Columbus airport and I could freely and confidently entrust her to her ROCK! I shared the Scripture and the message from the Lord with her before she left.  And whenever I emailed Beth or talked to her, I said "Remember your Rock!"

When Beth returned, she told us of a time she ended up at the end of the bus-line and had to "follow the river" alone in the dark to make her way back to her apartment.  She was scared but sensed a Presence...because the ROCK that followed her was Christ.

Let me encourage you, dear moms.. When anxieties arise over your children’s welfare, remind yourself and them that the “Rock that follows them (and you) is the Lord Jesus Christ”. Turn every event on your day’s calendar into a fresh opportunity to depend on your Everlasting Rock.

ALL TO US Chris Tomlin

Precious cornerstone, sure foundation You are faithful to the end We are waiting, on You, Jesus We believe You're all to us

Let the glory of Your name be the passion of the Church Let the righteousness of God be a holy flame that burns Let the saving love of Christ be the measure of our lives We believe You're all to us

Only Son of God sent from Heaven Hope and mercy at the cross You are everything, You're the Promise Jesus, You are all to us

You're all to us You're all to us You're all to us Yes, You are

When this passing world is over We will see You face to face And forever we will worship Jesus, You are all to us

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoXPhuDVp4U[/youtube]

The God of My Mothering: the Unchanging GOD

Where had the years gone?

Our son Jeremy was already married for 3 years and moving on with life.

Our daughter Beth --the "baby" of the family-- had just graduated from UD, gotten married, and moved to Arizona all in one month.  To top it off, our surrogate daughter Michelle, who had lived with us for about 3 years, moved to California a couple days after Beth's wedding.

Here I was with the "Empty Nest."  I guess I had lived as if there would always be young people in my home to spice up life.  Regrets started flooding in:  "I should have relished every moment more consciously."  " I should have enjoyed it more, rather than taking everything so seriously." And on and on with those thoughts that "eat you alive".

To add to all that, my mom was turning 80 and my mother-in-law, 81.  A friend of ours told us that statistically very few of those who enter their 80's live to be 90.  That hit me like a ton of bricks.  Chances are, we would be burying our moms in the next 10 years.  I guess I had taken it for granted that my hero of a mom would only be a phone call away or a day's drive away.

It wasn't that I didn't have other things in my life.  I had a "big" life...teaching ESL class, Bible studies, retreats...

But I was grieving!  Emotionally, I went into a months-long melancholy.

I started to ask myself, "What really endures in this life?"  In my head, I knew the answer, but I needed an answer for my heart.  Everything really important to me was drastically changing, and I guess I hadn't seen it coming!  Or maybe, being as independent and self-starting as I am, I didn't realize that it would be so hard!

Well, God, in His usual amazing way, started answering my questions and meeting me in my struggles.  In my devotions one day, I read:

In ages past You laid  the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the work of Your hands. Even they will perish, but You remain forever; they will wear out like an old clothing. You will change them like a garment, and they will fade away. But You are always the same; Your years never end. The children of Your people will live in security. Their children's children will thrive in Your presence. Psalm 102:25-28 NLT

So what really endures no matter the changes in life?  The Everlasting GOD and those who belong to Him from generation to generation.

Let me ask you, dear moms,

When the "dust" of your mothering has settled, and you find yourself with "the Empty Nest"... When you start to lose the heroes of the previous generation, and you find yourself nearing the top of the generational ladder... What will stabilize you for the days ahead? To Whom will you turn...Who will never change and will be there for you no matter the changes?

May you find your comfort and stability in our Faithful, Unchanging God. And may you find your purpose in an ever deepening walk with Him.

FAITHFUL ONE Brian Doerksen

Faithful One, so unchanging Ageless One, You’re my Rock of Peace Lord of all, I depend on You I call out to You, again and again I call out to You, again and again

You are my Rock, in times of trouble You lift me up when I fall down All through the storm Your love is the anchor My hope is in You alone

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecmDytp3nNw[/youtube]

An Open Letter to a New Mom

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY, dear New Mom!

Welcome to a whole new mode of existence --that of being forever "MOM."  Your life will now take on exciting dimensions you’ve never before imagined.

You've probably gotten all kinds of advice -- some great, some good, some best to be forgotten!  Well, here's mine to add to the mix: “Stay a beloved child in dependent and intimate relationship with your Abba Father” (1John 3:1).

God tells us that we become like what we focus on  (1John 3:2; 2Cor 3:18).  As you focus on Him, you will more and more become like the Only Perfect Parent.

So let yourself “be parented” by Him everyday.  All else flows from that:  strength, wisdom, patience, insight, peace, rest, etc.  And you’ll need all of these and more!

Refuse to think of yourself as separate from your Father God (Col 3: 1-4) – that’s the devil’s trap.

Return in your mind and heart to that sacred, secure place in God from whom flows everything and anything that you will ever need.

Many blessings on you and your precious little one.

As I affectionately say “We moms are ‘ruined’ for life – we can never not care again!”

Welcome to that glorious Sisterhood!!!

With much love Jan & Old Experienced Moms of every generation

Children Incognito

John at playground in Metafe

In April 2005, my husband John came home from work and said, “I’m going to Shanghai next week for work!”  Now you have to know that neither John nor I had been world travelers and haven’t even really had that on our “bucket list”.  The idea of his going (by himself, mind you) to Shanghai was very terrifying…to both of us!  As he was preparing to go, he was prayed over and encouraged by our kinship/small group to trust the Lord in this test to his faith.

I took him to the Dayton airport very early the morning of his departure. After John checked his bags, I cried, kissed him good-by, and prayed.   He slowly made his way in the serpentine line through which he had to go to get scanned.  Then he would be out of sight and on to the gate.

There he was -- my tall, kind, gentle soul of a husband.  I knew he was scared, and I was scared for him. All of a sudden, as clear as a bell, the small Voice: “John is just a little child, locked up in an adult body, trying to live an adult life in an adult world.”  What did that mean?  I would soon find out…

When I walked out of the airport to go to the car, what had been pitch-blackness (because of the early morning hour) had been transformed into the most beautiful, crystal clear, spring morning.  I just couldn’t go back home on the interstate on a morning like this!   I had to ride through the country.  So I left and went north, not knowing where I’d end up.

I soon found myself in the parking lot of one of my favorite places:  Charleston Falls Nature Preserve.  Normally, I don’t go to remote places by myself, but I sensed the Voice drawing me on.

Nate at playground in Pensacola 

As I walked down the path, I thought of our son-in-law Nate, who just a few days earlier had left for Djibouti, Africa.  I pictured him in his Air Force camouflage, saying good-by to our daughter Beth, his wife of less than a year.  And the Voice came again, “Nate is just a little child, locked up in an adult body, trying to live an adult life in an adult world.”

Jeremy at playground in Pensacola

I walked on.  I remembered our son Jeremy a few years earlier, diagnosed with thyroid cancer at age 20.  He was scared but trusting God.  Again the Voice, “Jeremy is just a little child, locked up in an adult body, trying to live an adult life in an adult world.”

Then the truth dawned upon me:We are ALL little children, locked up in adult bodies, trying to live adult lives in and an adult world.  And the only way we can do that is by living as little children with our Abba Father God!

I thought about Jesus, the Perfect Child of His Father.  How did He  live?

He lived in dependence upon His Father. Jesus said, The Son can do nothing by Himself; He can only do what He sees His Father doing. John 5:19

He lived secure in His Father’s love. For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself is doing. John 5:20

He lived in submission to His Father’s will. In the Garden of Gethsemane, the night before His crucifixion, Jesus prayed,  My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will. Matthew 26:39

He lived with His Father in trust & vulnerability.In the days of His flesh, He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to the One who is able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His reverence.  Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things He suffered. Hebrews 5:7

This is good news, because the Perfect Child of the Father lives in me (Col 1:27).

He lives His Child-life through me as I surrender to Him!  So now I know I don’t always have to have it all together.  I can be vulnerable with my Abba and trust that He will enable me, through His indwelling Son, to live an adult life in an adult world till He calls me home!

I love a song that Twila Paris wrote and recorded many years ago in response to a teaching by an elder in her church.  He spoke about being childlike before God.  The elder had said that we don’t need to act “tough and brave”.  We can cry before our Father and trust Him to work in our lives.  That really struck home with Twila, because she had sensed that people were putting her on a pedestal because of her rising popularity as a singer and song-writer.  And so she wrote the song, “The Warrior is a Child”.  Maybe you will be able to identify with message of this song as I did:

Lately I've been winning battles left and right But even winners can get wounded in the fight People say that I'm amazing Strong beyond my years But they don't see inside of me I'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down They don't know who picks me up when no one is around I drop my sword and cry for just a while 'Cause deep inside this armor The warrior is a child

Unafraid because His armor is the best But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest People say that I'm amazing Never face retreat But they don't see the enemies That lay me at His feet

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down They don't know who picks me up when no one is around I drop my sword and look up for a smile 'Cause deep inside this armor the warrior is a child

--------------------

“You are from God, little children, and…greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.” (1 John 4:4)

Walking in Present Risenness

When I was at the University of Arizona in the late 60's & early 70"s, the "Jesus movement" was in full swing.  A song that we always sang during praise time at our Christian student meetings in those days was "He Lives".

This song grabbed me!  The concept of a living Christ who intimately related to me on a daily basis was just beginning to dawn on me.  Look at the words to this glorious song:

I serve a risen Saviour He's in the world today; I know that He is living, Whatever men may say; I see His hand of mercy, I hear His voice of cheer, And just the time I need Him He's always near.

Chorus: He lives, He lives, Christ Jesus lives today! He walks with me and He talks with me Along life's narrow way. He lives, He live, salvation to impart! You ask me how I know He lives: He lives within my heart.

In all the world around me I see His loving care, And tho my heart grows weary I never will despair; I know that He is leading Thro' all the stormy blast, The day of His appearing Will come at last.

Rejoice, rejoice, O Christian, Lift up your voice and sing Eternal hallelujahs To Jesus Christ the King! The hope of all who seek Him, The help of all who find, None other is so loving, So good and kind.

Brennan Manning has a phrase that I love..."living in Present Risenness."  In his precious book The Rabbi's Heartbeat, he says:

We are not cowed into timidity by death and life.  Were we forced to rely on our own shabby resources we would be pitiful people indeed.  But the awareness of Christ's present risenness persuades us that we are buoyed up and carried on by a life greater than our own.

The Christ within who is our hope of glory is not a matter of theological debate or philosophical speculation.  He is not a hobby, a part-time project, a good theme for a book, or a last resort when all human effort fails.  He is our life, the most real fact about us.  He is the power and wisdom of God dwelling within us.

As you celebrate Christ's Resurrection this weekend, dear child of God, meditate on this glorious thought:  The Resurrected Christ is alive in your world right now.  The Living Christ lives in you today.  And this same Lord Jesus Christ lives His resurrection life through you as you walk in Present Risenness.

Christ in you, the hope of glory. Col 1:27

...you have died and your life is hid with Christ in God.  When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, we shall appear with Him in glory. Col 3:3-4

...to those who are the called,...Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 1Cor 124

Now enjoy this simple, sincere rendition of "HE LIVES"...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOilbG8PEIk&feature=related[/youtube]