The Father's Sandpaper

It's a precious relationship...but why is it so hard...and painful? We keep "missing" each other!  Maybe we don't "get" each other?

I keep trying to respect boundaries and be "circumspect" in what I say and do...and then it comes:  stuff from the past, mistakes in the present...at times, I am responsible...other times, I feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Not the sweetness and light I keep hoping for!

Lord, why?  Why is it so hard?  How do I navigate this relationship?

Then comes His still, small voice:

This relationship is Sandpaper in My Hands to shine you up...to get those rough places smooth!

sandpaper

Now how can I argue with that?  Thank you, Lord!

It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects[actually, beats to a pulp!]... At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain.Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God. Hebrews 12:7,11 Message

Many of you are going through difficulties of every kind...excruciating, even life threatening health problems, mental and emotional heartache, relational stresses, and the list goes on. We have no idea what the Father is doing in His sovereignty.

But one thing we can count on is that He is shining us up more and more to look like His glorious Son Who indwells us.

So let's embrace Him and our life and believe with all our hearts that nothing is wasted in His almighty, loving Fatherly Hands.

nothing is wasted, jason gray

PLEASE click on this link to view an awesome video of this song: Nothing is wasted -- Jason Gray

The hurt that broke your heart And left you trembling in the dark Feeling lost and alone Will tell you hope's a lie But what if every tear you cry Will seed the ground where joy will grow

And nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

It's from the deepest wounds That beauty finds a place to bloom And you will see before the end That every broken piece is Gathered in the heart of Jesus And what's lost will be found again

Nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

From the ruins From the ashes Beauty will rise From the wreckage From the darkness Glory will shine Glory will shine

Nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

From the ruins From the ashes Beauty will rise From the wreckage From the darkness Glory will shine Glory will shine

nothing wasted

You might also like to look at "In Pain...two Things I Know"

The Father's Sandpaper

Tears-150x150-1

It's a precious relationship...but why is it so hard...and painful? We keep "missing" each other!  Maybe we don't "get" each other?

I keep trying to respect boundaries and be "circumspect" in what I say and do...and then it comes:  stuff from the past, mistakes in the present...at times, I am responsible...other times, I feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Not the sweetness and light I keep hoping for!

Lord, why?  Why is it so hard?  How do I navigate this relationship?

Then comes His still, small voice:

This relationship is Sandpaper in My Hands to shine you up...to get those rough places smooth!

sandpaper

Now how can I argue with that?  Thank you, Lord!

It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects[actually, beats to a pulp!]... At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain.Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God. Hebrews 12:7,11 Message

Many of you are going through difficulties of every kind...excruciating, even life threatening health problems, mental and emotional heartache, relational stresses, and the list goes on. We have no idea what the Father is doing in His sovereignty.

But one thing we can count on is that He is shining us up more and more to look like His glorious Son Who indwells us.

So let's embrace Him and our life and believe with all our hearts that nothing is wasted in His almighty, loving Fatherly Hands.

nothing is wasted, jason gray

PLEASE click on this link to view an awesome video of this song: Nothing is wasted -- Jason Gray

The hurt that broke your heart And left you trembling in the dark Feeling lost and alone Will tell you hope's a lie But what if every tear you cry Will seed the ground where joy will grow

And nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

It's from the deepest wounds That beauty finds a place to bloom And you will see before the end That every broken piece is Gathered in the heart of Jesus And what's lost will be found again

Nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

From the ruins From the ashes Beauty will rise From the wreckage From the darkness Glory will shine Glory will shine

Nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

From the ruins From the ashes Beauty will rise From the wreckage From the darkness Glory will shine Glory will shine

nothing wasted

You might also like to look at "In Pain...two Things I Know"

Embracing my Today...TODAY!

Sharing this post from my first year of blogging 2011. I need it again. How about you?

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us be glad and rejoice in it! Psalm 118:24

Esther at her wedding , 80 years old

Several years ago, I received an email from a dear friend and former college roommate DeeDee.  She sent this email to family and friends to memorialize her mom who had just passed away at the age of 105.  I remember DeeDee's mom Esther as a "spunky lady" who "embraced  life."  The email reflected just that and was entitled "Esther's motto."

Today Outside my window, a new day I see, And only I can determine what kind of day it will be, It can be busy and sunny, Laughing and gay, Or boring and cold, unhappy And grey, My own state of mind is the determining key, For I am only the person I let myself be,

I can be thoughtful and do all I can to help, Or be selfish and think just of myself, I can enjoy what I do and make it seem fun, Or gripe and complain and make It hard on someone, I can be patient with those

Diana & Esther

Who may not understand, Or belittle and hurt them as Much as I can, But I have faith in myself, And believe what I say And I personally intend to Make the best of each day.

----------------------------------------------------

Now I don't think DeeDee or Esther would say that having a positive attitude is the answer to our every problem.  But knowing them, I do think they would say, "Embrace your today!  Hug it to your breast, and live it with courage, tenacity, and unselfishness."

I was thinking about this very thing as my husband John was going through cardiac rehab.   John's heart attack in July 2012 was in the artery that doctor's call "the widow maker."  So I am well aware that I could have become a widow that very day, as many of our college friends and other peers had already become.  And John could have said good-bye to this earth and joined those loved ones now with the Lord.

So here are some of my reflections on TODAY:

1.  TODAY is a gift.  It's all I have...and it has been given to me by my Creator.

This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

2.  TODAY will never be again. It is totally unique with unique challenges and opportunities.  Yesterday is gone...tomorrow is in the mind of God.

Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." James 4:13-14 [See also Psalm 90:3-6; Luke 12:22-32]

3.  TODAY is filled with opportunities:

*The opportunity to "love on" those around me -- my husband, my children, my grandsons, my neighbors, my friends, my co-workers, my students, and others who may cross my path today.

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13 NIV

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ...Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Gal 6:2,10 NIV

On facebook, my daughter Beth had just posted a cute little story about my then 5 year old grandson Kaden.

Kaden in school

Kaden said to Beth, "Did you know we each have an invisible bucket of happiness, and when we are mean, it is like dumping somebody's bucket?"

Kaden had just said hi to the neighbor and told his mom that he was filling up her bucket.  Apparently this was from a kindergarten lesson based on the book, Have You Filled a Bucket Today by Carol McCloud.  Wow, maybe I need to go back to kindergarten...or at least read the book!

*The opportunity to do my work with all the skill that God has put in me.  There is great satisfaction in doing my work well, whether it's at home or at my job.

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom. Eccl 9:10a NIV

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.  If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. 1Peter 4:10-11 NIV

*The opportunity to walk with GOD, the Eternal I AM in a deeper way, hearing His voice and following Him.  And this, of course, is most important of all!

For he says, "In a favorable time I listened to you, and in a day of salvation I have helped you." Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation. 2Cor 6:2

So, as the Holy Spirit says: “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the wilderness..." Hebrews 3:7-8

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. John 10:27

Over the years, one of my favorite studies to teach from the Scriptures has been the Old Testament Names of God.  In that study, one of the most exciting insights is that God's memorial name Jehovah, meaning I AM, expresses a God Who is eternally Present, totally above and beyond our chronological time, yet totally present in it with us and for us.  In the course of teaching that study, the Holy Spirit moved upon my heart to write a meditation in the first person.  I pray that this brief meditation will fill you with courage and excitement to embrace your today also:

All that I AM, I AM for you!  I am everything and anything that you will ever need:

I AM ELOHIM, your Creator.  I made you exactly the way you are.  You can be the unique person I created you to be.  You don’t have to fit into someone else’s mold or picture of what you should be.

I AM EL ELYON, your God most High, the Sovereign Ruler of the universe.  I am in control over all your circumstances.  I am weaving all your hurts and failures into my sovereign plan for My glory, bringing good out of them for yourself and others, as you trust Me.

I AM EL ROI, your God Who Sees and cares about every trial and heartache and injustice.  Others may judge you and use you and write you off, but I don’t.  I care and open My arms wide to receive you and bless you.

I AM ADONAI, your loving Lord and Master.  Present your body to me.  I will lead you in my good, pleasing, and perfect will (Romans 12: 12-2).  You can trust Me to be all that you need and to use you in My kingdom.

I AM EL SHADDAI, your All-Sufficient God.  “Open your mouth wide and I will fill it” (Psalm 81: 10.)  I am the Source of all you will ever need.  I am your strength and the fulfiller of all My promises to you, my child.

I AM JEHOVAH-JIREH, your LORD Who Provides.  I provided a Substitute, My Son the Lamb, for you, so that you could be saved and enter into relationship with Me your God and Father.  I have wiped away all your guilt and shame.

I AM JEHOVAH, your “I AM”, your Self-Existent LORD.  I am your life always and forever.

I AM JEHOVAH-RAPHA, the LORD your Healer.  I am the source of all your healing;  physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual.

I AM JEHOVAH-NISSI, the LORD your Banner.  I give you victory over all your enemies:  the world, the flesh, and the devil.  They are conquered foes as you rest in Me.

I AM JEHOVAH-MEKODDISHKEM, the LORD Who Sanctifies You.  You can rest from your self-effort.  Why do you try to do for yourself by your own religious good works what only I can do—make you holy?  Throw off that “yoke of bondage” (Galatians).  I came to set you free!  “And if the Son shall make your free, you shall be free indeed” (John 8).  Rest in Me and I will sanctify you.  I will do it!

I AM JEHOVAH-SHALOM, the LORD Who Himself is your Peace.  Because of My presence within you, I can provide the peace that passes understanding no matter what the circumstances.  Trust and rest in Me.

I AM JEHOVAH-SABBAOTH, your LORD of Hosts.  Greater am I Who is in you than my enemy who is in the world.  Victory is secure—I have all the forces of heaven and earth at My command.  Come to Me when you are at the end of your rope.  You are more than a conqueror in Me and My Love.

I AM JEHOVAH-RAAH, the LORD your Shepherd, Who seeks after, nurtures, protects, leads, and speaks to you your whole life.  You are perfectly cared for and secure in My loving arms (john 10: 27-29).

I AM JEHOVAH-TSIDKENU, the LORD your Righteousness. You are fully righteous and acceptable to Me because you are in My Son.  He actually became sin when He died on the Cross, so that you could become His righteousness.  Glory in that, dear child!

I AM JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH, your LORD Who is There.  I have said (and I won’t change My mind), I will never leave you, nor will I ever, ever forsake you. So you can confidently say in every situation, The Lord is my Helper.  I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me? (Hebrews 13: 5b-6)  You are My home (John 15), My sanctuary (1Cor 6: 19-20; Col 1: 27).

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

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You may also like:

the boys goofing around 2010

Choose your Face...Change your Day 

Speak a Blessing...Be a Blessing

hugging a tree

Is there someone in your life that needs hope and encouragement? How about all of us? While preparing recently to teach a study on Hebrews 11, God's Hall of Faith, I read, as if for the first time, about two of the patriarchs that I rarely ever think of in connection with faith: Isaac and Jacob.

By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future. By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph’s sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff. Hebrews 11:20-21 NIV

Yes, that word blessed jumped out at me. And I remembered a significant moment in time on the last day of a preschool class I taught back in 1998-1999. It was significant because of what the Lord did and what He taught me as a result.

Why not reminisce with me via a blog I wrote to celebrate my "preschoolers" graduation from Xenia Christian High School.  And then answer my original question:

Is there someone in your life that needs hope and encouragement?

tree huggers

Why not be the one to speak a blessing...and be a blessing!

PS If you would like to read my entire "trip into yesteryear," click on Kingdom Academy.

The Blessing 1999

Sometime during the school year, I had read The Blessing by Gary Smalley & John Trent. In that wonderful book, the authors explore our human need for approval and validation. They show how this need was met in the Biblical blessings given by fathers to children. But also we could do this for our children today and for others we care about. The authors listed 5 elements to the Blessing:

1. Meaningful touch 2. Spoken words 3. Expressing High value 4. Picturing a Special Future 5. Active commitment

I intended to use what I learned from this book to bless my own young adult children and the ladies in my Bible study group. I basically left it at that, but God had other ideas.

It was the last day of PK class. We were gathering our things into each child's box. Just as we were all lined up and starting to walk down the hall and out to the waiting moms, the Holy Spirit stopped me. "Bless them!"

PK 98 last day

So there in the hallway, I laid my hands on them one by one and prayed over each in turn...unique words and blessings for every child. I wish I had journaled the blessings...alas! I didn't :(

But what I'll never forget are the eager little faces...as each child waited his turn to be blessed!

No dry eyes for me...and a lesson learned in the value of blessing others!

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

I Am A Promise I am a promise I am a possibility I am a promise with a capital “P” I am a great big bundle of potentiality And I am learnin’ to hear God’s voice And I am tryin’ to make the right choice I am a promise to be anything God wants me to be.

I can go anywhere that He wants me to go I can be anything He wants me to be I can climb the high mountains I can cross the wide sea I’m a great big promise you see!

I am a promise I am a possibility I am a promise with a capital “P” I am a great big bundle of potentiality And I am learnin’ to hear God’s voice And I am tryin’ to make the right choice

I’m a promise to be anything God wants me to be Anything God wants me to be!

Embracing my Real Life

We often fight against our own reality, don't we? If you have trouble, as I do, with owning and living your real "today" life, why not pause here with me and reflect on this repost from last month: Living the Life I Have, not the One I Wish I Had

Have you ever thought you didn't have a problem in an area and then all of a sudden you came face to face with the truth? I have! In fact, that happened again to me just the other day.  Here's how it played out:

I was whizzing down my Facebook news feed when I came across a link shared by my sister-in-law Vicky. Now Vicky has been posting some really good stuff lately, and I had a few extra minutes...plus I was drawn into it (could that have been the Holy Spirit?), so I parked there for awhile.

the-scream

As I went through the list of quotes for "anxious, highly sensitive, and creative people," BAM! Right between the emotional and spiritual eyes!

We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. Joseph Campbell

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

So that's my problem! I had been in a funk, a blue mood, lonely,...ok, depressed, for weeks. I haven't wanted to be here in Ohio, starting my job again, beginning a new commitment.

Beth & Nate and boys (3)

I've wanted to be back in Delaware...with my new grandson William and his brothers Eli and Kaden and my daughter Beth and her husband Nate (whom I am teaching to crochet, by the way...what fun!)

Or...

Sunrise 8-14

I've wanted to be in New Jersey...watching the sun rise over the ocean every morning and walking on the beach with my cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee with no one else around, except fishermen like my brother Billy, and photographers like Bill McKim.

sunrise, bill McKim 8-23-14

And visiting with my siblings and my dear mama in her new home at Manor by the Sea in Ocean Grove.

mom, sibs, & me Aug 2012

My subconscious (and conscious) mind has been working on "how can I get back there...sooner instead of later?"

John on Thanksgiving at Beth's

Now I have a good life here in Ohio, great husband, lovely home, awesome son and family, amazing friends, a one day a week teaching job that I love, a new opportunity to teach ladies the scriptures.  BUT...somewhere along the line, I've quit embracing my life and hugging it to my breast and being thankful for it -- both the good and the hard.  And that isn't good at all!

Jeremy & fam...JOY

I can't live where I'm not! I need to live where I am each day...owning my reality. WHY? Because that is where God is and that is where I meet HIM! He is the I AM in my "right here, right now!"

After reflecting along these lines for awhile, another quote from the list got me:

Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there.’ Eckhart Tolle

Is that what is disturbing my sleep lately? I'm fighting against my own life! How many times have I "preached" against this very thing to others?

So what did I do? I chose to receive the truth the Lord was revealing. "Jan, you need to be fully HERE!"

So here I am in Ohio...not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. I'm meeting the Lord in my "here" and receiving at His hand "this day, this bread" as the Lord's prayer says.

What about you? What is the life you have? Is it the one you are embracing, or are you reaching out for another...which is not really your life "right here, right now" at all?

Why not do what the Lord led me to do this morning?  Agree with Him, and then list your life and give thanks for each and every part of it by name, the good and the hard.

Then keep on adding to the list each day...till that eternal day when you see Him face to face, when He says, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord!"

"Come on home...to a perfect place, a place you never dreamed possible!"

I looked again and could hardly believe my eyes. Everything above me was new. Everything below me was new. Everything around me was new because the heaven and earth that had been passed away, and the sea was gone, completely.

And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God, prepared like a bride on her wedding day, adorned for her husband and for His eyes only.

And I heard a great voice, coming from the throne.

See, the home of God is with His people. He will live among them; They will be His people, And God Himself will be with them.

Revelation 21:1-3 VOICE

Living the Life I Have, not the One I Wish I Had

Have you ever thought you didn't have a problem in an area and then all of a sudden you came face to face with the truth? I have! In fact, that happened again to me just the other day.  Here's how it played out: I was whizzing down my Facebook news feed when I came across a link shared by my sister-in-law Vicky. Now Vicky has been posting some really good stuff lately, and I had a few extra minutes...plus I was drawn into it (could that have been the Holy Spirit?), so I parked there for awhile.

the-scream

As I went through the list of quotes for "anxious, highly sensitive, and creative people," BAM! Right between the emotional and spiritual eyes!

We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. Joseph Campbell

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

So that's my problem! I had been in a funk, a blue mood, lonely,...ok, depressed, for weeks. I haven't wanted to be here in Ohio, starting my job again, beginning a new commitment.

Beth & Nate and boys (3)

I've wanted to be back in Delaware...with my new grandson William and his brothers Eli and Kaden and my daughter Beth and her husband Nate (whom I am teaching to crochet, by the way...what fun!)

Or...

Sunrise 8-14

I've wanted to be in New Jersey...watching the sun rise over the ocean every morning and walking on the beach with my cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee with no one else around, except fishermen like my brother Billy, and photographers like Bill McKim.

sunrise, bill McKim 8-23-14

And visiting with my siblings and my dear mama in her new home at Manor by the Sea in Ocean Grove.

mom, sibs, & me Aug 2012

My subconscious (and conscious) mind has been working on "how can I get back there...sooner instead of later?"

John on Thanksgiving at Beth's

Now I have a good life here in Ohio, great husband, lovely home, awesome son and family, amazing friends, a one day a week teaching job that I love, a new opportunity to teach ladies the scriptures.  BUT...somewhere along the line, I've quit embracing my life and hugging it to my breast and being thankful for it -- both the good and the hard.  And that isn't good at all!

Jeremy & fam...JOY

I can't live where I'm not! I need to live where I am each day...owning my reality. WHY? Because that is where God is and that is where I meet HIM! He is the I AM in my "right here, right now!"

After reflecting along these lines for awhile, another quote from the list got me:

Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there.’ Eckhart Tolle

Is that what is disturbing my sleep lately? I'm fighting against my own life! How many times have I "preached" against this very thing to others?

So what did I do? I chose to receive the truth the Lord was revealing. "Jan, you need to be fully HERE!"

So here I am in Ohio...not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. I'm meeting the Lord in my "here" and receiving at His hand "this day, this bread" as the Lord's prayer says.

What about you? What is the life you have? Is it the one you are embracing, or are you reaching out for another...which is not really your life "right here, right now" at all?

Why not do what the Lord led me to do this morning?  Agree with Him, and then list your life and give thanks for each and every part of it by name, the good and the hard.

Then keep on adding to the list each day...till that eternal day when you see Him face to face, when He says, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord!"

"Come on home...to a perfect place, a place you never dreamed possible!"

I looked again and could hardly believe my eyes. Everything above me was new. Everything below me was new. Everything around me was new because the heaven and earth that had been passed away, and the sea was gone, completely.

And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God, prepared like a bride on her wedding day, adorned for her husband and for His eyes only.

And I heard a great voice, coming from the throne.

See, the home of God is with His people. He will live among them; They will be His people, And God Himself will be with them.

Revelation 21:1-3 VOICE

[youtuber youtube='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtxmSAqMtDA']

"Never more than I can bear"-- Oh, really?

"God never gives us more than we can bear!" For some reason, I've been hearing that a lot lately, have you?

I don't know about you, but in my experience, it has been the opposite! God regularly gives me more than I can bear...and I'll tell you what I think is the reason.

As I now like to say, "I'm a tough nut to crack."  I'm a pretty strong personality! So for a lot of my Christian life, I've believed that it's my strength and know-how and abilities and wisdom, coupled with the blessing and help from Above, that will get the job done...successfully...even in the spiritual realm. I've eaten over and over again from the "Tree of knowledge of Good & Evil" thinking that was God's will and way!

But now I know differently. His way is His strength in my weakness! Not His help in my weakness! HIM doing it and being it!

Tears-300x198

Little by little I have been learning this, not just through Scripture, but through life experience. And the crowning lesson in it all wasn't my own mysterious anaphylactic reactions that lasted years, not the sudden deaths or disabilities of our parents within a 8 month period, not the everyday pressures of mothering, homeschooling, and Bible study teaching. No! It was the cancer of my beloved son and the health crisis of my darling daughter all within months of each other that truly brought me to the end of thinking I had anything to add to life.

When someone marveled at how we made it through, I replied, "The Lord carried us!"

And so little by little over the years, the truth of what I have been seeing in the Word has come to life:

My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  Gal 2:20 NLT

It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God. He has enabled us to be ministers of his new covenant. This is a covenant not of written laws, but of the Spirit.  2 Cor 3:5-6a NLT

But we have this treasure [the indwelling Christ] in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death works in us, but life in you.  2 Cor 4:7-12 NASB

But whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me—and not without results. For I have worked harder than any of the other apostles; yet it was not I but God who was working through me by his grace. 1 Cor 15:10 NLT

Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.  John 15:5 NLT

Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  2 Cor 12:8-10 NLT

My weakness, His strength 2Cor 12

Even the following verse, which comes pretty close to our cliche, still says to me that it's not about my strength with His help.  The "way of escape" is HIM...otherwise I could never endure it:

No temptation [trial, testing] has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted [tried, tested] beyond what you are able, but with the temptation [trial, testing] will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it. 1 Cor 10:13 NLT

What about you, dear friend?

Just when you start feeling like you have the parenting thing tied up, has a new phase begun that knocks you for a loop?

After doing all the healthy stuff for your family, even more than what others do for themselves and their kids...Bam! Does a serious diagnosis enter your lives?

Or what about just the everyday stuff -- frustrations, noise, dirty diapers, crying, calling for mama? Pressures from schedules, deadlines? Difficult relationships...irregular people in your life?

Or what about your own human weakness, lacks, frailness, handicaps? Do you continually fall into the trap of thinking you can handle it with some help from God?

Oh really?  How has that been working for you?

O suffering child of God, turn from your own will and your own way and surrender to HIM, your Way of Escape, the One who will carry you through, so that you can endure even the unendurable, the unthinkable:

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.Romans 12:1-2 NLT

trials

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Respecting the Holy Spirit in Your Child's Life

"Respect the Holy Spirit in other believers...including your children." Such was God's message to me years ago when I was raising my precious son and darling daughter.

When each of them came to saving faith, I was surprised by the immediate evidence of the Spirit in each of their young lives. With Jeremy, it was his hunger for God's word through his Bible story book; with Beth, her desire to knock on the doors of our neighbors to tell them about Jesus.

I'm not sure why this should be surprising.  After all, the Spirit of God lives within every believer, no matter how young or how old. Each of them is a sanctuary of God, a holy of holies, a dwelling place of the divine. Even in the midst of the human developmental stages of life, while still being children, God is there.

Many times in the Scriptures, we read of the Spirit of God working dramatically, mightily, profoundly in and through young people. Moses realized at a young age that he would be Israel's deliverer. Young Samuel heard the Lord and received his call as a child. John the Baptist leaped for joy in his mother's womb. And there are others.

You might wonder why this has come to my mind now in the midst of the summer.  Well, these weeks in Delaware, as God's delay unfolded and played out (see my previous post), I've spent lots of time with my grandsons, especially my oldest Kaden.

Kaden was just three years old when his Air Force dad was deployed overseas for six months. So our daughter Beth packed up Kaden, dog, and stuff and moved to Ohio to stay with us for the duration. Of course, this "Babci"* was thrilled! Lots of real life guts, glory, and grace were up ahead. And so we settled in.

It was during that time that I was teaching a ladies' Bible class in the letter to the Hebrews. As I packed up my Bible and notebook the first week, Kaden asked me where I was going.  When I told him that I was going to teach a Bible study, he replied, "When I grow up, I'm going to do that!"

And week by week, little three year old Kaden would remind me of his ambition to be a Bible teacher too when he grew up.

Little did he know that he didn't have to wait to be "grown up" to be a Bible teacher. He has been MY teacher for some time already!  In fact, several months ago I shared Kaden's first blog post (don't miss it!). So Kaden became my youngest "guest branch" at just 8 years old.

Since I gave Kaden a "Bible Reading Challenge" almost a year ago now, we have had awesome discussions ranging from Creation to the meaning of the Trinity to Resurrection of Christ to Paul's missionary journeys to the book of Revelation and everything in between.  The amazing thing is that this "spiritual adult in a 9 year old body" remembers everything he reads and explores in a simple way some of the most profound truths of Scripture.

For instance, before baseball camp started a few weeks ago, we were talking about how much easier it was to start a new thing in a new place when you know someone. Then I said that even if you had to go alone, God is with you.

Kaden thought for a moment and replied, face all aglow, "So then you always really do know Someone, don't you."

So for a week, as we drove together to and from baseball camp, conversations would take a turn from Minecraft and Pokemon to beautifully simple, child-like, faith-filled questions and realizations.

Finally, one day after such truly amazing discussions, as I dropped Kaden off and said good-bye, I was overcome by the manifestation of the Spirit in that precious young life. I had to just sit there awhile as I sobbed. I felt as though I had encountered a burning bush, a holy of holies, all in the person of my nine year old grandson.

What about you, dear mom or dad, grandma or grandpa, teacher, aunt, friend? Do you have the honor of caring for a child? Do you respect the Holy Spirit in your believing child's life?

You have a sanctuary, a holy of holies in your midst.

Yes, there is human development going on...with all the guts and glory that entails. But don't discount the Lord's working in their young lives.  In fact, why not learn from that profound simplicity of truth through the lips of a child who loves his Redeemer?

An Open Letter to a New Mom

Dear new Mom!

Welcome to Motherhood! You have entered a whole new mode of existence --that of being forever "MOM."  Your life will now take on exciting dimensions you’ve never before imagined.

You've probably gotten all kinds of advice -- some great, some good, some best to be forgotten!  Well, here's mine to add to the mix: “Stay a beloved child in dependent and intimate relationship with your Abba Father” (1John 3:1).

God tells us that we become like what we focus on  (1John 3:2; 2Cor 3:18).  As you focus on Him, you will more and more become like the Only Perfect Parent.

So let yourself “be parented” by Him everyday.  All else flows from that:  strength, wisdom, patience, insight, peace, rest, etc.  And you’ll need all of these and more!

Refuse to think of yourself as separate from your Father God (Col 3: 1-4) – that’s the devil’s trap.

Return in your mind and heart to that sacred, secure place in God from whom flows everything and anything that you will ever need.

Many blessings on you and your precious little one.

As I affectionately say,

We moms are ‘ruined’ for life – we can never not care again!

Welcome to that glorious Sisterhood!!!

With much love Jan & other  Old Experienced Moms of every generation

Touch Jesus...Touch Life

Years ago I had a mentor-friend named Donna.  She was the one the Lord used to usher me into experiencing Christ in me as the One who does the doing in the Christian life!  Her key phrase was (as I remember it) "God does it." Then, by the Spirit of God, came the realization that my indwelling Lord Jesus Christ is my All in All!  He is the Father's Ultimate Gift to me...no-thing else, no-thing more!

Jesus is __________

Most of us Christians, when we pray, ask for things...money to pay a bill, a turn-around for a wayward child, healing from sickness, comfort in grief, hope for the future, wisdom for the pending decision, strength for the task ahead, courage for the scary opportunity, patience for the unendurable, stability for the unthinkable.

But God doesn't give us anything apart from His Son.  He is the Gift! He is the "Stuff" we want...the Thing we ask for.  So what we are really longing for is a greater experience of our Lord Jesus Christ, in and through our lives.

Because...

...when we touch Christ, we touch Life!

I love how Watchman Nee says it:

How we need to have our mind renewed so as to understand that aside from Christ God has no intention for us to have many so-called spiritual things. According to God’s arrangement, there are things; only, these things are Christ. For Christ is the sum of all spiritual things. Christ is our righteousness—He has not given us a righteousness. Christ is our sanctification—He has not granted us a thing called power to make us holy. Christ is our redemption—He has not offered us a redemption. Christ is the way—He has not opened to us another way in which to walk. Christ is the truth—He has not presented some truth before us for us to understand. Christ is the life—He has not conferred on us a thing called life.

Brothers and sisters, as we travel along God’s course, we will discover more and more that of all God’s grace there is only one grace, of all God’s gifts there is only one gift. That grace is Christ, that gift is also Christ. Thank God, day after day He is showing us how Christ is all-inclusive.” (Christ the Sum of All Spiritual Things)

Let that sink in a bit, dear friend.  We are always asking for stuff in addition to Christ...but HE is All!

In case it takes you a while to grasp this, as it did me, rest right here and bask in the Glory of the Living Christ Whom the Scriptures describe as the Father's All!

In worship at church a few Sundays ago, I was moved by a song that sent my soul running to HIM who is Everything and Anything I could ever need. Enter in and run to Him Who is your All!

Jesus is___________

Forever Reign

You are goodYou are goodWhen there's nothing good in meYou are loveYou are loveOn display for all to see

You are lightYou are lightWhen the darkness closes inYou are hopeYou are hopeYou have covered all my sin

You are peaceYou are peaceWhen my fear is cripplingYou are trueYou are trueEven in my wandering

You are joyYou are joyYou're the reason that I singYou are lifeYou are lifeIn you death has lost it's sting

Oh, I'm running to Your armsI'm running to Your armsThe riches of Your loveWill always be enoughNothing compares to Your embraceLight of the world forever reign

You are moreYou are moreThan my words will ever sayYou are LordYou are LordAll creation will proclaim

You are hereYou are hereIn your presence I'm made wholeYou are GodYou are GodOf all else I'm letting go

Hallelujah, foreverAll the glory, foreverAll the praise to You

My heart will singNo other nameJesus, Jesus

[youtuber youtube='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRBQtIEEkrU']

Sunrise Serendipities

Sunrises are always serendipities -- not that we don't expect them and not that they don't always come, but we never know what we will get.  Each one is different, and each one is a gift from the hand of our Creator! Maybe the gift part is more true than we realize, because each sunrise signals a new day.  And really, none of us is promised that day ahead of time...pure grace when it comes!

silvery sunrise

Sometimes, even what each day contains reveals itself as pure serendipitous gift.   And that was true last year in my sunrises in New Jersey on the coast.  From icy beaches and silvery skies in December to a school of dolphins close to the beach in August; from loyal Sunrise Club members, such as my brother Conrad & grandson Kaden renewing their membership to a brand new member, my cousin Peggy; from connecting to my fisherman brother Billy, fishing in the surf to being reunited to my sweet Dunkin' Donuts manager lady Diana...and everything in between -- all serendipitous delights straight from the heart of my Abba Father God.

But as if that weren't enough, a grand finale -- a surprise and pure delight!  Let me tell you about it...

On my last morning in NJ, Kaden and I got up early for my last sunrise of the trip.  We made our necessary stop at Dunkin Donuts for our morning essentials: coffee for me and hot chocolate and donut for Kaden.  As we climbed the boardwalk to make our way down onto the beach near the water, we were almost blown away by the wind.  Seeing a lifeguard stand & boat overturned right near my usual spot, we made our way there to see if we could find shelter from the wind.  No such luck!  The wind was coming directly off the ocean.

But in the process, we met a photographer on the beach trying to catch the sunrise too.  We exchanged pleasantries, and he asked to take a picture of Kaden and me together viewing the rising sun.  Since he knew my brother and was a local photographer, I consented.   Little did I know what a gift this encounter really was.  Here is the finished product:

sunrise, bill McKim 8-23-14

I am so grateful that Bill McKim of McKim Photography noticed a grandma and her precious grandson early that windy Saturday morning on the beach in Belmar, New Jersey.  Little did he know how special this encounter would be to this sunrise-loving "Babci" and her grandson Kaden.

Thank you, Bill, for your kindness in sharing your awesome expertise.*

And ultimately, thank you, Lord, for the sweetness of your gracious gift to me, your friend, who so loves to see YOU and Your presence in every good and perfect gift!

Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. James 1 :17 NLT

My Redeemer

Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning Who told the ocean you an only come this far? Who showed the moon where to hide 'til evening Whose words alone can catch a falling star?

Well I know my Redeemer lives I know my Redeemer lives All of creation testify This life within me cries I know my Redeemer lives

The very same God that spins things in orbit He runs to the weary, the worn and the weak And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken They conquered death to bring me victory

Now I know my Redeemer lives I know my Redemer lives Let all creation testify Let this life wihtin me cry I know my Redeemer, He lives

To take away my shame And He lives forever I'll proclaim That the payment for my sin Was the precious life He gave But now He's alive And there's an empty grave.

And I know my Redeemer, He lives I know my Redeemer lives Let all creation testify This life within me cries I know my Redeemer lives

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9p4G2GbPYQA[/youtube]

Kaden watching sunrise

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The Sunrise Club

*You can visit McKim Photography at mckimphotography.com or on facebook

Mentoring Gone Awry

He must increase, but I must decrease.John 3:30 ESV

Have you had a mentor, a spiritual father or mother? Do you have one now?

spiritual fathers

I have had a few.  For the most part, they were godly, sincere, vulnerable believers who shared the Lord freely and in a spiritually healthy way.  But recently, I have been shocked by one of my long term "fathers."

Because of our differences in interpretation of several passages of Scripture, he totally cut off fellowship with me, wanting no further contact.  This aging saint had said that he was "shocked, disappointed, and somewhat traumatized" by my "rejection" of his interpretation.

To say the least, I was shocked that a mature believer would handle differences in minor points this way.  But I've found that I am not alone. In fact, two of my friends have experienced the exact same kind of thing for the same reason.

So how does spiritual fathering/mentoring go awry?  Is it control? Insecurity? Pride?

As one of my friends aptly said of his own rift with his mentor,

The main issue [was] no freedom to disagree. My journey with Jesus couldn't progress without absolute freedom to follow wherever He led.  My dear mentor required uniformity of thought/belief which is unhealthy. --Rennes Bowers

Since I am at the stage of maturity where I have the honor of coming alongside other believers, I want to learn from all of this. And maybe you do too, whether you are a mentor or being mentored!

Well, there is good news! There is a gem of a spiritual father tucked away in the gospels, one of my heroes of the faith, John the Baptist!  He shows us what a true "spiritual father" is like.

Take a few moments and read through chapters 1 and 3 of the gospel of John to see...

john the baptist pointing

Spiritual Fathering at its best

I have observed three things about John:

1. John knew who Jesus was.

John was Jesus' cousin, yet John didn't really know who Jesus was until the Holy Spirit revealed directly to John,

Then John testified, “I saw the Holy Spirit descending like a dove from heaven and resting upon him. I didn’t know he was the one, but when God sent me to baptize with water, he told me, ‘The one on whom you see the Spirit descend and rest is the one who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.’ I saw this happen to Jesus, so I testify that he is the Chosen One of God. John 1:32-34

Once John knew Jesus as the Messiah, he was totally "all in."  Even though a prophet is without honor in his own country, John's cousin Jesus had the priority and honor due Him.  Look at some of what John knew through divine revelation about the Lord Jesus:

Jesus is the Light ...the One who is coming, who ranks ahead of him, because He was before him ...the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world ...the One who baptizes with the Holy Spirit ...Christ the Messiah, ...the Bridegroom who has the bride ...the One who comes from heaven and is above all ...the One who speaks God's words ...The One who has the Spirit without measure

The Lord Jesus Christ and all he knew about Him was what John focused on and proclaimed. John heard from the Father about Jesus the Promised One, and then John spoke from that continuous revelation.

2. John knew who he was.

John had no delusions of grandeur. When asked by the priests and Levites sent from the Pharisees who he was, John right away responded,

I am not the Christ!

Who then?

I love John's response,

I am the voice of one crying out:  'Make a straight road in the desert for the Lord.'

John knew he was a voice, unworthy to untie the sandal of the One coming after him.  His job was to testify to the Light that was coming into the world. John was a witness. That was his role, and he knew it and embraced it.

3. John never confused the two.

I am amazed at how John never deviated from his focus, despite the fact that his disciples were leaving him to follow Jesus.  He had no "Messiah complex," so to speak.  He freely released his followers, pointing them toward the Christ.

I love the imagery John used when he described himself as the "friend of the bridegroom who rejoiced at the bridegroom's voice."  He knew Jesus to be the Bridegroom who has the bride.  So John's joy was complete to point the way to Him!

As John so beautifully stated,

He must increase, I must decrease!

walking with jesus

What can we learn?

Whether we are the mentors or the ones being mentored (even by messages we read and hear), we need to keep these truths in the forefront of our minds:

1. The Lord Jesus Christ is All!

As John knew, Jesus Christ is the Light, the Promised One, the Savior of the world.  He is the Bridegroom who has the bride (the "church," believers, the body of  Christ). He is the Sum of all Spiritual Things, as our brother Watchman Nee so aptly put!

2. We are all His!

All of us believers have the indwelling Christ through the Holy Spirit...from the youngest believer in the Lord to the most mature saint of God.

And like John, we each have a role to play.  God opens the way so that we can serve others in a unique way and be served by others in the body of Christ in Jesus' name.

And so, as the Lord spoke to my heart many years ago,

Respect the Holy Spirit in yourself and other believers...even young ones!

3. A healthy detachment characterizes healthy believers, young and old!

Each of us individually can learn to hear and follow the Lord day by day. Jesus Himself said,

My sheep hear [keep on hearing] my voice and I know them and they follow [and keep on following] ME! John 10:27

We can encourage each other to do that very thing, releasing our brothers and sisters to follow HIM even when their path may be different from our own.  John the Baptist did this well, didn't he?

Our own freedom to follow and our giving that freedom to others is at the heart of spiritual growth. As Andrew Murray said of abiding in Christ,

...independent of all else, because dependent on Jesus. Abide in Christ

Lord, Thank you for the brothers and sisters you have placed strategically in my life. They have loved me and taught me about you and your ways. Teach me to release others to You in Your name. You are our All and in all! Amen.

Remember your leaders who taught you the word of God. Think of all the good that has come from their lives, and follow the example of their faith. Hebrews 13:7 NLT

Spiritual Fathers: Dead and Alive

I am writing to you, fathers,because you know him who is from the beginning. 1 John 2:13,14 ESV

Since the month of June is Fathers Day month,  I'm thinking about spiritual fathers.   I've been blessed to have some.  My life has been forever enriched by being "spiritually fathered" by these people of God.

So this month, I would like to share a few of them with you. But first, let's think together about "spiritual fathering."

In his first letter, the fatherly aged apostle John penned a tenderhearted passage on the growth stages in a believer's life.  He describes for us spiritual childhood, then young adulthood, and finally fatherhood:

I am writing to you, little children, because your sins are forgiven for his name's sake.I am writing to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning.I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one.I write to you, children, because you know the Father.I write to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning.I write to you, young men, because you are strong,and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one.1 John 2:12-14 ESV

Did you notice that he repeats two times the exact same description of the "father stage" of spiritual growth?

"...you know Him who has been from the beginning."

"You know GOD in His pure Person...the great I AM, the Burning Bush God, Jehovah!"  Nothing else is needed...nothing else distracts.  There's a total focus on the Ever-Present God and what HE is doing...especially in the lives of people.

return of the prodigal

Henri Nouwen, in his wonderful book The Return of the Prodigal Son talks about how we are each ultimately called to be the "father (or mother)" in others' lives.

...my final vocation is indeed to become like the Father and to live out His divine compassion in my daily life...every son and daughter has to choose to step beyond their childhood and become father and mother for others.  It is a hard and lonely step to take...Return of the Prodigal, p121.

Nouwen talks about three ways to truly compassionate fatherhood:  grief, forgiveness, and generosity.  All three of these characteristics require a heart completely empty of self-seeking, a heart that steps over our own stuff  and pours itself out for others.  This is where the Father seeks to take His children as they "grow up" in Him.

I love the image of "stepping over our own stuff."  It has helped me many a time in conversation or in situations to remember that as I mature in God I must be willing to step over this conflict, that slight, the other hurt, etc.  That's the way of the Father...and the way of fathers and mothers who walk in His way on behalf of His children:

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 5:1-2 ESV

Do you have any spiritual fathers (or mothers, for that matter) in your life?  If so, thank God and imitate their faith!  If not, ask God for some...they are treasures!  And then grow to become one!

Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith. Hebrews 13:7 ESV

*More in the coming posts about some spiritual fathers, both dead and alive :)

Surprised by the Voice that I long to hear...in the hard

My sheep hear My voice...

This week I'm in New Jersey, caring for my 91 year old mom so that my care-giver sister can get a much needed break.

Mom has a number of health issues that have caused her to slowly, very slowly, deteriorate. Someone has called this period of life that many of us "baby boomers" face as we care for our aged parents, "The long good-bye." And it certainly is...and it's hard...very hard...and for a number of reasons.

First, of course, is the fact that our beloved one is declining and suffering in the process. That's hard to watch.

And my precious Mommy (as we sibs still call her) is developing backwards, so to speak.  She is declining back through the stages of human development, and that's hard! Hard to witness and hard to adjust to, especially relationship-wise.

The child becomes the parent, and the parent becomes the child.

It's also hard because of the physical energy and personal sacrifice involved in the care-giving.

It's a privilege in so many ways to be able to "give back" to one who has sacrificed all for us. But for those of us who aren't naturally gifted in the care-giving, serving gifts, it can also be particularly difficult...even humanly speaking, distasteful!  For instance,  the need to wash and toilet the person goes against most sensibilities, to be perfectly honest!

Well, this week the Lord met me in the hard-ness of the serving.  As I was helping my precious mom in her embarrassing needs in the restroom, as my back was hurting and the smells and required care were overwelming, as everything within me was yelling, "This is hard," the Voice that I always long to hear broke through.

You are doing this for Me! I am in your mom! So you are serving ME!

Oh wow, Lord! Of course! You said,

As you did it to one of the least of these my brothers [or sisters], you did it to me. (Matthew 25:40 ESV)

You are doing all this to ME!

I was serving HIM! Yes, the King, the Lord, the Master! Wow, what a privilege... not only to serve my darling mama, but in the serving, to be ministering to my Jesus!

As my heart took this all in, I remembered another time, years ago, when I sacrificially served. It was joyful and hard...very hard...in the same way.  But the thing that was especially hard was that I wasn't thanked in any way, though others were.

As I was sitting outside on my porch, "licking my emotional wounds," enjoying the weird "delight" of self-pity ("I can't believe that they didn't even thank me!"), the Voice that I always long to hear broke through,

Well done, good and faithful servant...Enter into the joy of your master. (Matthew 25:23 ESV)

Oh my! I was undone!

HIS "Well Done"  was worth it all! Much better than all of the thank you's and recognition on this earth!

So dear friends, members of the sandwich generation caring for beloved aged ones and moms and dads pouring it out for the beloved young ones and everyone else in between, hear this from the Voice that in reality you too always long to hear,

...as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.

Well done, good and faithful servant...Enter into the joy of your master.

Amen!

Alone? On Mother's Day?

There are lots of emptyings in life.  There are deaths and losses of every kind.  There are ends of relationships...ends of jobs...ends of school-years...ends of eras...ends of phases of life.  Some of these are expected.  Some catch us by surprise! This Mother's Day, I think of an emptying that affects all mothers sooner or later...the emptying of the nest!

I know!  This is what we have been preparing our children for, right?...the launch, the flight out of the safety, security, and nurturing of their childhood home...out into the excitement of what God has for them up ahead.   But who ever prepares us moms?

I've always been an independent person. So releasing my children into adulthood...to make their own way...has caught me by surprise.  It has been harder than I ever thought!  In fact, it's been one of the swords that have pierced this mom's heart.

My mind goes back to a Mothers' Day at the very start of the emptying.   The Lord in a unique way comforted this grieving mother's heart.  It was at a time when my children, who were young adults, had just gone through some serious health crises.  So I was drained emotionally.

At that time, there were significant others in the picture.  So the issue of celebrating Mothers' Day became somewhat of a dilemma.  John & I decided to defer to the other mothers and postpone our celebration to the following Sunday.

That should have taken care of it, right?  But to my surprise, being alone on the real Mothers' Day was a grief to me!  I was doing my best not to wallow in my sadness, when the Lord surprised me with three gifts...three delights for a hurting mama's heart!  Three God-winks that most likely would have gone unnoticed had we been celebrating that day.

The first gift was finding old cassette tapes of my babies' voices.  (Keep in mind that in the 1970's early 80's, that was the best you could do to record audio.)  There were tapes of Jeremy and Beth when each of them was just starting to talk.  Others, when they were very young.  One was even labeled "doing school and being obnoxious!"  I listened...I laughed...I cried...as the bitter-sweetness of those precious voices washed over me!

The second sacred wink was catching sight of a mama house finch launching her babies.  Talk about the perfect metaphor at the perfect time!  Here the mama of the little family of house-finches, that had nested in a bush next to our porch, was giving this sorrowing mama a lesson in the circle of life.  I imagined mama finch saying her good-byes as each left the safety of her nest.  Was she grieving the way I was, or was she more courageous than I?

And last but not least, I just happened to come across a monthly letter from Telling the Truth, a ministry I had begun to follow.  I had tossed it aside to join my stack of others to be read someday.  By God's grace, in that alone time, I picked it up and started reading.  It all came together...

Stuart Briscoe, describing how motherhood changed his wife Jill, wrote:

When the baby was born, I stood by helplessly and watched the transformation that took place in my wife.  Motherhood changed her irrevocably.  As she nursed her child I detected a mysterious gleam in her eyes--a certain glow, a knowing, a secret insight that she shared with the new arrival.  She and he knew something that I didn't know.  I could do nothing more than observe and wonder at the mystery of motherhood.

He went on to say...

It occurs to me that the unique bond between mother and child makes possible an intimate nurturing relationship that men never know for they, by definition, are removed--they stand at a distance from the mother-child phenomenon.  But hard as it can be for the father to make the adjustment to the beloved intruder, there is divine genius in the arrangement.

For the day comes---all too soon--when the child must spread his wings and take flight from the nest.  Guess who struggles at this point?  The mother, of course!  Releasing and relinquishing are not mother gifts.

Guess who knows how to handle distance?  The father, naturally.  So as the wise mother has steered the puzzled father through the mysteries of nurturing, so the wise father now steps forward to guide the fearful mother through the anxieties of relinquishment.

And the child receives what he needs -- a healthy balance of mother nurture and father freedom... (Stuart Briscoe, Telling the Truth newsletter, May 1999)

What a comfort these words were.  Having never gone through this phase of life before, I was struggling.  And as hard as it was and would continue to be for some time, I had to realize in my experience that it is God's way to move my children into responsible adulthood.  It's their turn to step up to the plate of life and fulfill the will of God in their generation.

Emptyings are never easy...

But God's intent in the emptyings is never to leave us void.  He wants to fill us with a greater capacity for Himself...to fill us with a greater experience of WHO HE IS in every phase of life.

So dear mama-sister, if you are going through THE emptying of all emptyings (or so it seems at the time), open your eyes...there may be God-winks all around you, visitations from your Abba-Father to comfort a relinquishing mama's heart.

Serving God's Purpose in my Fleeting Days...

For David, after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation, fell asleep...Acts 13:36a

A few years ago, my husband had what I call "a heart episode" -- not a heart attack, praise God, but an issue with his heart rhythms that sent him to the emergency room.  Since John had had a "widow maker" heart attack several years before, the docs decided to keep him in the hospital and run some tests.

I kissed John good-by that night and went home.  I had perfect peace that John was in good hands...and most of all, the Great Hands of our Healer God!  Exhausted by the long day, I hastily sent out an email to some of our "prayer peeps," asking for prayer for John and signing it with Acts 13:36a.  The Lord had just reminded me of this verse a week or two before as I was sharing with a small Bible study group.  My friend Jenna, who had been a part of that group, jokingly responded to my email, "Are you sure you want Acts 13:36?  Are we praying that John live or die (fall asleep)?"

For those of you who may also be a bit confused as to why I would share Acts 13 in a prayer request for John's health, let me give a little background:

My fascination with this truth began several years before.  My husband John was leading us through the book of Acts in our kinship group.  Maps went up on the screen, the journeys of Paul were clarified, even drawings and photos of archaeological dig sites were explained and imagined!  I don't remember much to tell you the truth.   But I do remember the above verse.  It really hit me like a ton of bricks...and as I've meditated on it and mulled over it for days and weeks and months and even years, it has brought me tremendous encouragement and peace.  Why, you may ask?

Well, as an answer to that question, here's my PS to my praise report sent to our praying friends the following week:

For those of you who may have been confused as to my verse -- it's a great comfort to me that our life on earth will not end until God has fulfilled His purpose through each of us in our generation!  Amen to Acts 13:36A!

And isn't that what life is all about for us children of God...to so let Him live and love and serve through us that His great purpose in His Son, from before time began, will be worked out in and through our human lives on this earth.  What an awesome privilege and hope!  We are part of something bigger than us!

There's a song that I discovered last year that makes me think of my Acts 13 verse.  It wasn't long after hearing for the first time this haunting melody (Johann Sebastian Bach's melody "Wachet Auf" played on folk instruments) and the accompanying song, that I started playing it in my car on my way to work each day.

It moves me to think that the Lord Christ uses the work I do each day to accomplish His purpose -- to glorify Himself and build His kingdom.

That's because He lives His life through me His child, His disciple, His instrument.

I particularly love one of the lines:

May we...Serve Your purpose in our fleeting days...

It reminds me of my verse.  I love to take David's name out and put my name in:

Jan, when she has served the purpose of God in her generation, will fall asleep...into the Arms of Abba Father God!

And perhaps you would like to fill in the blank with your name...

________________, when he/she has served the purpose of God in his/her generation, will fall asleep...into the Arms of Abba Father God!

...and then join me in this prayer:

Oh Father, may I serve your purpose in my own generation!

Before You I kneel, my Master and Maker
To offer the work of my hands.
For this is the day You’ve given You’re servant;
I will rejoice and be glad
For the strength I have to live and breathe;
For each skill Your grace has given me;
For the needs and opportunities
That will glorify You great Name.

Before You I kneel and ask for Your goodness
To cover the work of my hands.
For patience and peace to shape all my labor,
Your grace for thorns in my path.
Flow within me like a living stream,
Wear away the stones of pride and greed
‘till Your ways are dwelling deep in me
And a harvest of life is grown.

Before You we kneel, Our Master and Maker;
Establish the work of our hands.
And order our steps to seek first Your kingdom
In every small and great task.
May we live the gospel of Your grace,
Serve Your purpose in our fleeting days,
Then our lives will bring eternal praise
And all glory to Your Name.

Before You I Kneel (A Worker's Prayer), Keith & Kristyn Getty

Holy Week: 7 Sayings of Christ with B.C. 2001

I love this post because it was such a serendipitous delight to find this clipping in my file a few years ago. So I can't help but share it year by year.

Would you meditate along with me ... and revisit Christ's seven sayings for the Cross this holy week? It's truly "holy ground" as we reflect on the Cross, what our Lord went through, but mainly, what He accomplished there. What a perfect preparation for the joy, freedom, and release of the Resurrection.

www.johnhartstudios.com.

A few years ago, I came across an inspiring cartoon in my "Easter" file.  I think my husband John (who had been the family reader of the Sunday funnies in years gone by) cut it out and gave it to me back in April 2001.  So there in my file, this little treasure has been tucked away for all these years.

For those of you who have been following the Lenten Meditations on a branch in the Vine, this piece serves as a fitting climax during Holy Week, which corresponds to Passover this year.

There's an interesting story behind this controversial cartoon.  Apparently for Easter 2001, cartoonist Johnny Hart wanted to do something special. He stated,

I noticed one day that the center section of the Menorah -- the sacred symbol of Judaism, bore the shape of the cross. I wanted everyone to see the cross in the Menorah. It was a revelation to me, that tied God's chosen people to their spiritual next of kin -- the disciples of the Risen Christ. http://www.hollywoodjesus.com/BCcomics_easter.htm

Take a look at the enlarged version below.  And then peer deeply into the empty tomb, and remember HIM!

Behold the Lamb (Communion Song)

Behold the Lamb who bears our sins away,Slain for us - and we rememberThe promise made that all who come in faithFind forgiveness at the cross.

So we share in this bread of life,And we drink of His sacrificeAs a sign of our bonds of peaceAround the table of the King.

The body of our Saviour Jesus Christ,Torn for you - eat and rememberThe wounds that heal, the death that brings us lifePaid the price to make us one.

So we share in this bread of life,And we drink of His sacrificeAs a sign of our bonds of loveAround the table of the King.

The blood that cleanses every stain of sin,Shed for you - drink and rememberHe drained death's cup that all may enter inTo receive the life of God.

So we share in this bread of life,And we drink of His sacrificeAs a sign of our bonds of graceAround the table of the King.

And so with thankfulness and faith we riseTo respond, - and to rememberOur call to follow in the steps of ChristAs His body here on earth.

As we share in His sufferingWe proclaim Christ will come again!And we’ll join in the feast of heavenAround the table of the King

Words and Music by Keith and Kristyn Getty & Stuart Townend

​Devotions for Holy Week:

Perhaps for the days of Holy Week, you would like to meditate on Christ's sayings one by one.  Here is a summary of the links from our Lenten Meditations at  A Branch in the Vine.

Last Words and Conversations:

1. Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing. Luke 23:34 -- a Word of Forgiveness

2. I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise. Luke 23:43 -- a Word of Salvation

3. Dear woman, here is your son...Here is your mother. John 19:26-27 -- a Word of Family Affection

4. My God, my God, why have you forsaken Me? Matthew 27:46 -- a Word of Abandonment

5. I am thirsty. John 19:28 -- a Word of Personal Need

6. It is finished! John 19:30 -- a Word of Completion

7. Father, into your hands I commit My spirit. Luke 23:46 -- a Word of Reunion

www.johnhartstudios.com.