August 03, 2018

Growing Old with the Ancient of Days

August 03, 2018/ jan

"This is getting old" was my early morning greeting to my husband the other day. John agreed. Waiting on surgeries and recoveries and at the same time being sick and relapsing were wearing on us.

I'm not bored, not even discontent [OK, just a little] but what can I say? It all was getting OLD! Why? Well for me it just isn't fun not to be able to do my usual stuff or go where I want to go (like to New Jersey to visit my sister on the beach before she moves to Florida!) or accomplish my long list of projects. Did you notice the "operative words" here -- do, go, accomplish?

July 30, 2018

Soul Care: Just Breathe

July 30, 2018/ jan

And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. Genesis 2:7 KJV

Ah! How to care for our soul, our inner person? We so often neglect our inside self until we are ready to go over the edge with anxiety, exhaustion, depletion, hole-ness ... often caused by failing to read the signals in and around us.

So my friend and guest branch Mary Petzinger returns today with her helpful insights into this very issue.

July 28, 2018

Quiet Places

July 28, 2018/ jan

In his book The Way of the Heart, Henri Nouwen spoke of silence as a portable cell or sanctuary, a place of transformation that can be carried into ministry. Yet true as that is in active ministry, my ministry now is mainly to family and those that God brings across my path. Even when I’m with family, my heart longs for a quiet place in the midst of chaos. In my oldest daughter Karen’s home it is her sunroom, decorated in a nautical theme. I search for things in the beach painting in front of me – the shapes of the clouds, the rocks at the edge of the water that soothe my soul and help clear my mind.

July 26, 2018

My Continuing Need to REST

July 26, 2018/ jan

Here I am again. I got up too soon from a "sick bed" to start my usual "moving & shaking." I can't help but remember (and probably misinterpret) verse 2 from the beloved Psalm 23:

He MAKES me lie down in green pastures...

And my "green pastures" is again my big, soft green couch, for yet another week.

July 22, 2018

LIFE Overflowing!

July 22, 2018/ jan

Today my dear grandson Carter turned 10. 10! Double digits, a full decade! Oh how time passes too quickly and here we are.

As I've thought of this precious life, I had been been asking the Lord to give me a verse to pass on to Carter from HIM. First I went one way in my thoughts, and then I went another. But nothing felt totally right, totally it. I was trying too hard instead of letting my heart receive it from the Spirit.

Then it came ... and it was totally perfect!

July 19, 2018

TBT: TODAY ... not Tomorrow or Yesterday

July 19, 2018/ jan

Are you a futuring-type person? Or as a friend of mine says, a future-think? In other words, do you constantly project into the future?

I do.

For this NON-procrastinator, it is very difficult to live in the moment, in the today! My mind is always racing ahead...to the next responsibility, the next event, the next idea.

July 16, 2018

Bits of Grief!

July 16, 2018/ jan

My babies are gone. They left this morning to go back to their home ... to the place that Uncle Sam assigned after the birth of their fourth child, their first daughter (after three awesome, lively sons). This was the third time that the military transferred them immediately after the birth of a baby. Now that baby was celebrating her first birthday.

July 12, 2018

The Smile that Destroyed my Religion!

July 12, 2018/ jan

Much of my life I lived under the "frown of God," or so I thought. I wasn't a bad kid; in fact, I was quite religious and moral. But I wasn't perfect for sure. (For one thing, I was a terrible big sister, mean and self-centered toward my siblings.) But I knew God required perfection, so I was always working my way down a spiritual "to do list" of some kind (depending on the Christian group I was with. They each had their own, you know).

July 09, 2018

Reflections on my So-called "Prayer Life"

July 09, 2018/ jan

I had an interesting discussion with my daughter the other day. She asked me,

"Have you heard any messages about prayer that talk about how the Holy Spirit prays the prayers in us? Where in the Bible is that?"

June 30, 2018

In Sorrow: Redefining Death ... and Life!

June 30, 2018/ jan

A wise person thinks a lot about death,
while a fool thinks only about having a good time.
Ecclesiastes 7:2-4 NLT

Death!

The word puts terror in our bones! We know it's coming but we ignore it when we can, and we act like we will live on this earth forever. But then there's the health crisis, the loss of a loved one, the thoughts in the darkness of night, the day-mare or nightmare. And the realization of the truth of where we are all heading (some of us sooner than later) comes sneaking or crashing in. And then we have to face the inevitable or drown it all out with some artificial comfort.

June 28, 2018

In Sorrow: Is There No God in __________?

June 28, 2018/ jan

A question jumped out at me in my "catch up" chronological Bible reading this week. It was so simple yet profound, but it grabbed hold of my mind and heart.

Is there no God in Israel?

A curious question to just jump off the page and grab me, isn't it? Where did this question come from? And why now?

June 26, 2018

Sorrow's Refining Influence: His Peace-filled Presence

June 26, 2018/ jan

This is scary. This is hard. But I have Jesus!

I was on my way to the hospital to pick up a CD and written report on my CT scan done several days ago. Something suspicious had showed up in a previous test. I wanted to find out, but I didn't want to know.

Walking from the parking lot, I sensed the Holy Spirit give me my "Jesus Prayer."

June 24, 2018

Pondering: Sorrow's Refining Influence

June 24, 2018/ jan

…Sorrow is better than laughter,
for sadness has a refining influence on us.
A wise person thinks a lot about death,
while a fool thinks only about having a good time.
Ecclesiastes 7:2-4 NLT

June 22, 2018

A Fellow NUMB One: my hero Elijah!

June 22, 2018/ jan

My twelve year old grandson Kaden and I were chatting in the car the other day. Somehow the subject came up about those in the Bible who never died. And of course, I volunteered Elijah, and Kaden immediately remembered his chariot of fire.

I said, "I love Elijah." To which Kaden responded, "I love Elijah too."

The conversation kept on going with Enoch coming up next. And I'm not sure where it all went after that. Other people/kids were in the car so it may have gone to Fortnight or StarTrek or who knows what else.

June 20, 2018

Numbness in my Soul

June 20, 2018/ jan

Have you ever been so exhausted, so overloaded, so overwhelmed (even with good things or a mixture of good and hard) that you are numb ... on the verge of tears one minute then totally blank the next? That's me right now.

Three weeks with "littles" (I love them to pieces, but the energy doesn't coincide), overlapped by my husband's medical procedure that cancelled out a looked-forward-to trip to visit siblings on my beloved Jersey shore, capped off with my own need for a CT scan of an unexpected abnormality found in a previous ultrasound -- all have contributed to my "blank" numbness.

May 30, 2018

Choose your FACE...Change your DAY

May 30, 2018/ jan

Just as water mirrors your face, so your face mirrors your heart. Proverbs 27:19

I love 4 year olds...they understand so much! A few years ago, I told my then 4 year old grandson Evan that we choose our attitude. And he got it!

I didn’t always think that was true, but the older I get the more I believe our choosing has a lot to do with it. And if we are children of God, the living, indwelling Christ empowers us to have an appropriate attitude for the situation.

I experienced this simple truth with another 4 year old when I was teaching preschool many years ago.

May 27, 2018

Shine, Jesus, Flow!

May 27, 2018/ jan

I've spent much of my adult life in the conservative evangelical Christian "camp," so to speak. I still place myself there doctrinally but I disavow myself from the tendencies that were prevalent over the years to look at other believers as "enemy brothers and sisters," in particular, charismatic Christians. Thankfully, that trend has been changing in recent years. We now often embrace each other freely and even espouse each other's differences as our own.

May 23, 2018

TBT: Low Volume, High Volume, and Everything In-between

May 23, 2018/ jan

Some of us are low volume people. Others of us are high volume folk. And others are everything in-between.

...I think this realization affects how I view myself and others.

We all tend to be so insecure and self-conscious, constantly rejecting who and what God made us to be. On the other side, we expect people to be more than they are and be able to do more than they can. Or we think that those who are doing a lot are just showing off!

May 21, 2018

Revisiting my "Words" ... wanting them to find me afresh!

May 21, 2018/ jan

I'm weary and blank. The death of a friend, new health issues arising, aging making itself felt, even good things piling up beyond energy levels, desires to do too much and then paying for it ... all of it. So I'm revisiting my "words" of recent years. And I'm especially parking on this year's word "REST." Journey along with me?

May 16, 2018

TBT: Walking in the Dark...

May 16, 2018/ jan

Are you going through the dark valley today, my friend? Have there been oppositions, losses, stresses of many kinds looming all around you?

Darkness, darker than the dark?

I'm with you...especially this week...

But this morning, in the midst of it all, moved by an inner Mover, picking up a volume dating back many a year, there was balm for my exhausted, beat-up soul.

A Branch in the Vine