I’ve been thinking lately.

If I require someone to act a certain way toward me in order for me to be ok, I have given that person control of my life.

And it is so easy to fall into that trap — having expectations of others’ behavior toward me or living by the expectations others have of me … otherwise I can’t be ok.

I’ve recently gone through a season of loneliness (all right, “self-pity) … wondering if I’d have any friends if I didn’t take the initiative (that’s an exaggeration). I am blessed, but I’m also the initiator in many, if not most, relationships in my life.

So recently my expectations started to grow. As a result, I became more and more depressed. Then the Holy Spirit of God spoke to my heart:

“Jan, I made you an initiator, and you know that you love to lead.
When those lying expectations begin to take over your thoughts,
put these truths in their place:

GOD IS MY SOURCE!
~~My husband~~ is not my source.
~~My children and their spouses~~ are not my source.
~~My grandchildren~~ are not my source.
~~My extended family~~ is not my source.
~~My friends~~ are not my source.

They are all precious GIFTS from GOD… Who IS my Source.
They are all God’s image-bearers whom I can love and give to, and yes, initiate toward, according to the Holy Spirit’s leading and empowering.

SO…

I am ok…
GOD is my SOURCE.
My HOPE and TRUST are in HIM.
I am FILLED with the FULLNESS of Christ, Who is the FULLNESS of God.
HE is my ALL.

For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily,
and you have been filled in him …
Colossians 2:9-10 ESV

…and…

But by the grace of God I am what I am,
and His grace toward me did not prove vain;
but I labored [a.k.a. initiated*] even more than all of them,
yet not I, but the grace of God [united] with me.
1 Corinthians 15:10 NASB
[*my own application]

…and…

… we are taking every thought captive
to the obedience of Christ …
2 Corinthians 10:5 NASB

Friends,
Do you struggle with self-pity, false expectations of yourself or others?
Feel free to leave a comment. We need to pray for one another.

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Who is Your Source?