Lenten Meditation: Eulogize your living loved one

eulogy  noun, plural eulogies.1. a speech or writing in praise of a person or thing, especially a set oration in honor of a deceased person. 2. high praise or commendation.

In our week's Lenten meditation, we focus on the Lord's care for His dear mom as His own death approaches.  How tender, how like a beloved son of a beloved mom! Caring for our treasured loved ones is at the heart of "family" in the purest sense of the word.

However, we often forget that true caring can be much deeper and more needed than merely physical care, as critical as that is.  There's a caring that touches heart and soul...one that meeting physical needs approaches, but a caring that perhaps only loving words can reach.

We busily go through our lives, often thinking many kind thoughts and feeling loving, appreciative sentiments for our loved ones, but not stopping to put words and voice to them...nourishing the soul of ones we love.

Rather what do we traditionally do?  We wait until the person has passed away to express those words, words that deep down she may have been longing to hear.    We give those golden words to others in the form of a eulogy, either formally or informally delivered, at a funeral or memorial service.

I've been thinking a lot about death these days, especially since my dear mom has gone to her reward with Jesus in heaven just last November.  About eight years ago, several of my siblings had the wonderful brain-child to celebrate my mom's 85th birthday with a big party/reunion.  This was a huge deal with music, singing, readings and fun!

As part of that, many of us wrote, in a sense, our eulogies to her, and my son Jeremy compiled them in a book with photos.  And as wonderful as the entire occasion was, the most important thing was that little volume of golden words.

I'm not sure my mom was able to take it all that day. But I do know something was received...she was honored with words of love, affection, and affirmation.  And she looked through that book while she was in the Manor House Senior Center, and who knows but many memories kicked in when she viewed not just words but also  photos of loved ones.

So dear friends, don't wait too long!  Don't even wait till 85...life is a vapor!

I really believe that a big part of our grief over the loss of a loved one is really regret (which can eat us alive!).  Seize the opportunity to just simply say the beautiful, wonderful things you think and feel, even right then and there in the moment. You don't need a big bash to do it! Don't assume the person knows how you feel!We are all insecure enough to NOT KNOW!

You will be glad you did...but most of all, your loved one will be "cared for" in the depths of her soul!

For His honor and glory! Amen!

To see my "eulogy" for my mom's 85, click here.

Take a look at the one another verses.

Lenten Meditation: Eulogize your living loved one

eulogy  noun, plural eulogies.1. a speech or writing in praise of a person or thing, especially a set oration in honor of a deceased person. 2. high praise or commendation.

In our week's Lenten meditation, we focus on the Lord's care for His dear mom as His own death approaches.  How tender, how like a beloved son of a beloved mom! Caring for our treasured loved ones is at the heart of "family" in the purest sense of the word.

However, we often forget that true caring can be much deeper and more needed than merely physical care, as critical as that is.  There's a caring that touches heart and soul...one that meeting physical needs approaches, but a caring that perhaps only loving words can reach.

We busily go through our lives, often thinking many kind thoughts and feeling loving, appreciative sentiments for our loved ones, but not stopping to put words and voice to them...nourishing the soul of ones we love.

Rather what do we traditionally do?  We wait until the person has passed away to express those words, words that deep down she may have been longing to hear.    We give those golden words to others in the form of a eulogy, either formally or informally delivered, at a funeral or memorial service.

I've been thinking a lot about death these days, especially since my dear mom has taken some major steps in that direction.  About six years ago, several of my siblings had the wonderful brain-child to celebrate my mom's 85th birthday with a big party/reunion.  This was a huge deal with music, singing, readings and fun!

As part of that, many of us wrote, in a sense, our eulogies to her, and my son Jeremy compiled them in a book with photos.  And as wonderful as the entire occasion was, the most important thing was that little volume of golden words.

I'm not sure my mom was able to take it all that day...and maybe will never be able to take it in until Jesus says, "Well done, my faithful daughter, Jeanette!"  But I do know something was received...she was honored with words of love, affection, and affirmation.  And she can look through that book today, and who knows but memories may click in!

So dear friends, don't wait too long!  Don't even wait till 85...life is a vapor!

I really believe that a big part of our grief over the loss of a love one is really regret (which can eat us alive!).  Seize the opportunity to just simply say the beautiful, wonderful things you think and feel, even right then and there in the moment. You don't need a big bash to do it! Don't assume the person knows how you feel!

You will be glad you did...but most of all, your loved one will be "cared for" in the depths of her soul!

For His honor and glory! Amen!

To see my "eulogy" for my mom's 85, click here.

Take a look at the one another verses.

Lenten Meditation: a Word of Family Affection

Dear woman, behold your son...behold your mother.  John 19:26 Jesus has a special love for His own.

As we've already seen with His forgiving and saving attitude in the midst of excruciating agony, His concern was not with His own suffering.  Rather His attention was next drawn to His precious loved ones at the foot of His cross, His mother and His beloved disciple John.

What agony Jesus must have seen on Mary's face. Calvin Miller describes the scene well:

Beneath the tree stood the grieving mother of the heretic.  She was a woman whose face was rimmed by little wisps of silver hair that protruded defiantly from under her mantle; occasionally she trembled with uncontrollable spasms of despair.  Before the tree a young fisherman gazed in blurred glances at his dying friend; his broad arm cradled the head of the convict's mother.  But he was unable to console her.  The man on the cross was her son... Miller, Once Upon a Tree

This was her little boy...her precious son that she nursed and rocked and raised to be a man to fulfill God's plan.  Yes, she had warning of suffering ahead...remember Simeon's prophecy when the baby was presented in the Temple?

This child is destined to cause many in Israel to fall, but he will be a joy to many others. He has been sent as a sign from God, but many will oppose him. As a result, the deepest thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword [romphia] will pierce your very soul. Luke 2:34 NLT

Little did Mary know all this sword would entail.  According to Miller, romphia (Greek) was a huge Persian sword that literally skewers its victims in pain.   Jesus Himself knew all this and yet submitted to the Father's plan.

But now He would care for His suffering mama by entrusting her to the man He knew would care for her as his own.

When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, “Dear woman, here is your son.” And he said to this disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from then on this disciple took her into his home. John 19:26-27 NLT

Years later the apostle Paul would write to Timothy, his beloved son in the faith:

Michelangelo's Pieta

If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 1 Timothy 5:8

But this begs the question...where were Jesus' brothers?  Surely, this first-born Son could have entrusted His mother to one of his brothers, James or Jude, or perhaps another close relative.

There was obviously something more going on here...something that includes you and me.

Perhaps a year or so before...

...as Jesus was speaking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. Someone told Jesus, “Your mother and your brothers are outside, and they want to speak to you.” Jesus asked, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” Then he pointed to his disciples and said, “Look, these are my mother and brothers. Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!” Matthew 12:46-50 NLT

So by entrusting His mother to His beloved disciple and friend, Jesus was "creating a new family based not on kinship to one another [blood relationship] but solely through their relationship to him."*  Although his brothers were related by blood, they had not yet become related in the Spirit through faith in Him, God's Son and Savior of the world.

And that brings us back to us believers...those of us who are related to Him by faith.  We are His family...children of the same Father:

But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. John 1:12

Jesus the God-Man is our Brother, and we are his brothers and sisters:

In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering. Both the one who makes men holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers … For this reason, he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest. Hebrews 2:10, 11, 17

And Jesus cares for His own with a special love and care:

Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help us when we are being tested...So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. Hebrews 2:18; 4:16 NLT

We also belong to one another...brothers and sisters in our Father's and Brother's family.

On the night before He died, Jesus gave us the new commandment, Love one another as I have loved you...

Why? because then the world will know you are my disciples. Why?  because the world will hate you. Why? because in this world you will have trouble.

So we will need each other!

Love each other with brotherly affection, and delight in honoring each other. Romans 12:10

Dear brothers and sisters, ...who is it in your human family that needs your affection and attention? ...who is it in the family of God that needs your brotherly (Or sisterly) affection and attention?

Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone--especially to those in the family of faith.  Gal 6:10

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Bible Students:

Go back to the night before Jesus died (John 13-17). Mark every time that Jesus says love with a red heart. Who is loving whom? Now do this for the epistle of First John. Did you notice that LOVE is John's emphasis? No wonder...He's the disciple Jesus loved.

You may also like this post:  "Love's Abiding Harvest"

The New Testament is filled with "_________________ one another verses." Click here and read through all of them, including the Scriptures. Which ones jump out to you and why? Is God telling you to do something about it...attitude or action-wise?

You may also like this post:"It Takes a Village..."

Activity:

In the center of a piece of paper, write your name.  Around your name, write the names of all the other persons that you consider part of your family.  Those closest to you might be written close to your name, those further away may be written a greater distance from your name. *

Now do the same with your "spiritual family"...fellow believers in your life, whether in your church body, Bible study, family, neighbors, etc.

Then answer the closing questions above...

Dear brothers and sisters, ...who is it in your human family that needs your affection and attention? ...who is it in the family of God that needs your brotherly (Or sisterly) affection and attention?

The Surprise of Suffering

Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through,as if something strange were happening to you. 1 Peter 4:12 NLT

Well, surprised is an understatement when it comes to what we all experienced in our family when our then 20 year old son was diagnosed with thyroid cancer.  Our Jeremy had always been athletic, healthy, happy, strong! How could this be happening to him? ...to us?

And as every mom, I began the usual Examining of the Mom Conscience:

How did I not protect him from this? I've been doing more than most in keeping our environment clean of toxic chemicals.

I should have been more perfect with our food.

Have I delved too deeply into alternative medicine?  Punishment?

And on and on...ad infinitum, ad nauseum... To the point of agony.

Then the precious words of our Lord,

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. John 16:33 NLT

In Him, peace...on earth, trials and sorrows.

So the question is not Why me, why my son? but rather why NOT me, why not my son?

Over the succeeding months, as we walked out that terrible/glorious year, the Lord reminded me of what He had said through the apostle Paul,

18 Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. 19 For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. 20 Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope, 21 the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay. 22 For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us. 24 We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. 25 But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)

26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. 27 And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. 28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. 29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters... Romans 8:18-27 NLT

Did you notice all the groanings?  That's right, all creation, we believers (actually all humans also), and hold on...the HOLY SPIRIT...Eternal God, indwelling us, praying for us and in us according to the will of God...deep, deep! Oh glory!  What comfort!  Why?

Our situation is not a surprise to our indwelling God.  In fact, the Son of God entered our groaning world and became a Groaning One along with us, so...

Our suffering is not a surprise to HIM...listen to His groaning the night before He died:

While he lived on earth, anticipating death, Jesus cried out in pain and wept in sorrow as he offered up priestly prayers to God. Because he honored God, God answered him. Though he was God’s Son, he learned trusting-obedience by what he suffered, just as we do. Then, having arrived at the full stature of his maturity... he became the source of eternal salvation to all who believingly obey him. Hebrews 5:7-10 MSG

And so no matter what we are going through, our Jesus, through His indwelling Spirit, groans it out with us.  And because He is God Almighty, He can take hold of us (Hebrews 2:16) when we run to Him in our darkness of darkness.  He's been through it all:

Therefore, it was necessary for him to be made in every respect like us, his brothers and sisters, so that he could be our merciful and faithful High Priest before God. Then he could offer a sacrifice that would take away the sins of the people. Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help [run to the cry of] us when we are being tested. Hebrews 2:17-18 NLT

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. Hebrews 4:15-16 NLT

[youtuber youtube='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPXapfFfesA']

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To read about Jeremy, 15 years cancer free in 2013 by the grace of God, click here.