November 09, 2016

An Unexpected Grief

November 09, 2016/ jan

There I was, sitting at the stop light. All of a sudden, an overwhelming grief ... not primarily for my mom who died an exact year before, almost to the day. No, for my dad ... who had died in 1983 right before Thanksgiving.

But why am I grieving now ... why this year, when I hadn't thought of him at this time other years?

I tried to track my train of thought and realized that my thoughts had gone from grieving over my mistakes in my parenting to the difficulties in my own childhood home.

October 31, 2016

Beauty in the Eyes of the Beholder

October 31, 2016/ jan

... God has made everything beautiful for its own time.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 NLT

During a recent visit with our lovely daughter and family, I was walking on "my path" on the Dover Air Force Base.

I love my path! There are walkers and their dogs, playing children and military "manifestations" (like signs written in military rather than civilian time), and best of all, safety and well-cared for walking areas. But for as many times as I have walked my path, I wasn't prepared for the delightful, though shocking, surprise on the day in question.

October 23, 2016

"All of God in all of me"

October 23, 2016/ jan

In recounting her journey to Christ as a young college student, Jill Briscoe tells of a little nurse who led her to the Lord during a hospital stay. The night Jill was saved and every night thereafter, that wise little nurse encouraged her to go to sleep saying:

All of God in all of me.

Jill says, as a result of that truth etching itself in her mind and heart, she never doubted that when she received Christ, she had gotten all there is of God.

... If the spirit is a person, then you can't receive a "bit" of the Spirit, just as you can't receive only a part of a person. So I had been given all of God I was going to get ...*

October 12, 2016

Hitting Rock Bottom

October 12, 2016/ jan

Take a look around you. We are hitting rock bottom in this country. Our politics is a mess. There is moral bankruptcy all around. And then there is suffering in this world rivaling the Holocaust! Actually, we have been hitting rock bottom for a long time, haven't we?

And maybe you have been hitting rock bottom personally also.

There's that serious diagnosis, that turmoil in a relationship, that financial reversal, that heart-shattering rejection. Or maybe it's having heard once too often those inner, harassing voices telling you "you are nothing, no one loves you, no one will ever love you." You are at the end of your trying, the end of your own resources.

October 03, 2016

Craig's Song: I Am Waiting for the Dawning . . .

October 03, 2016/ jan

The beauty of aging is that long-term memory starts to kick in (don't ask me what I had for breakfast!).

And that's what happened in the midst of a hard time, a sweet yet bitter time, when many gathered to share our corporate sadness, yet rejoicing, at the graduation to glory of our dear brother and friend Craig Steffen.

October 01, 2016

Ancient Words, Ever True!

October 01, 2016/ jan

Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O LORD, God of hosts. Jeremiah 15:16

I love these words of Jeremiah. God's Word is "so delicious," as my friend Penny would say. I gratefully consume it as my daily manna.

September 23, 2016

Unrestrained Abandonment . . . Unfettered Joy

September 23, 2016/ jan

Before we get too far removed from all those vacation voices, the beachy bliss, the freedom of fun in the summer months, I'd like to tell you about the visual the Lord gave me to show my heart and soul what true surrender does for me and yes, even for Him!

September 14, 2016

Touch Jesus . . . Touch Life

September 14, 2016/ jan

Years ago I had a mentor-friend named Donna. She was the one the Lord used to usher me into experiencing Christ in me as the One who does the doing in the Christian life! Her key phrase was (as I remember it) "God does it."

Then by the Spirit of God came the realization that my indwelling Lord Jesus Christ is my All in All! He is the Father's Ultimate Gift to me...no-thing else, no-thing more!

Jesus + Nothing = Everything

September 07, 2016

The Stabilizing Focus of a Morning Prayer

September 07, 2016/ jan

Oh, life has been full of losses lately...deaths, illnesses, failures. And these during and after times of refreshment with loved ones and beaches and the simplicity of Amish peaceful countryside.

As a result, I am reflecting, revisiting, and responding in new ways to previous thoughts...some of which have already been shared. Forgive me. But if you would like to listen in, here is my meditation:

Life is a mix, a conglomeration.
There is confusion and clarity, flailing and focus, excruciating pain and exquisite peace.
There is bitterness and sweetness, strength and fragility, "rugged seas" and "smooth sailing."

August 30, 2016

Why? Why one but not the other?

August 30, 2016/ jan

While my husband and I made our way to the East Coast to spend time with our daughter and family, grandsons, my own siblings and their families, word came to us of the sudden death of our friend Craig. Shock beyond words! Grief and heart-break for our friend Cindy, his dear wife as well as for ourselves and all those who have known him and loved him. No time for prayer, beseeching, begging!

Then a few days later, word came of my friend Linda, who had just suffered a stoke at 73 years of age...

So that's always the dilemma.

WHY? Why one and not the other?

August 23, 2016

Grief and Joy and Love and Life: for a Friend in the Loss of Her Beloved

August 23, 2016/ jan

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name...
Isaiah 54:5

My dear friend,

I heard a song and I thought of you!

I remembered a poem and I thought of you!

And I thought of grief and joy and love and life...and I thought of you, my precious sister-friend!

And I remembered your delightful, creative, godly love of your life Craig, who is now "exploring the mysteries of Christ."

August 17, 2016

Schooltime (or anytime) Prayer for the Children in your Life

August 17, 2016/ jan

Four little "scholars" begin a new school year in our family. Since these scholars are our grandchildren, this new beginning makes this Babci pause.

What will this year hold for these precious little lives?

Joys and sorrows, friendships and rejections, encouragement and despondency, successes and failures...

Lord, I want the formers and not the latters. But I know how it goes...the firsts often come through the seconds.

August 15, 2016

Respecting the Holy Spirit in Other Believers...including (or maybe especially) Children

August 15, 2016/ jan

During these closing weeks of the summer, many of us are focusing especially on the children in our lives. School is starting (or has already started), and we are longing for a rich year of learning, love, and acceptance...good friends, caring teachers and adults in their young, vulnerable lives. And our wish list for them and prayer list on their behalf go on and on.

So whether a parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, teacher or caring friend, this is for you. I know it can be easy to discount or forget the glorious potential in those little lives that we love and care about.

August 03, 2016

The Prayer of Relinquishment...the hardest prayer to pray

August 03, 2016/ jan

Like most people, when I first began active experimentation with prayer, I was full of questions, such as: Why are some agonizingly sincere prayers granted, while others are not? I still have questions. Mysteries about prayer are always ahead of present knowledge—luring, beckoning on to further experimentation.

But one thing I do know; I learned it through hard experience. It’s a way of prayer that has resulted consistently in a glorious answer, glorious because each time, power beyond human reckoning has been released. This is the Prayer of Relinquishment.

July 24, 2016

Of Haircuts, Bananas, and Traffic Patterns: Is anything too Small for the Lord?

July 24, 2016/ jan

Is there anything too small for the Lord?

OK, that's not how the verse goes:

Is there anything too hard for the Lord? (Genesis 18:14; Jeremiah 32:17; 32:27; Luke 18:27)

But maybe the first is a question we should also ask. Let me share why...

The other day I was taking my daily walk down our hill, through the nature path, alongside the horse farm, through a park area with the baseball fields and grove of trees...then back again. Many times this walk is when I commune with the Lord....listening to praise music, talking with my Savior and Friend.

And other times, I commune with friends or family via my cell phone. Also lovely and meaningful.

July 19, 2016

Fragile Souls...all of us, but especially...

July 19, 2016/ jan

As I was getting ready to write a short blog about how easy it is to run ahead of the Lord, word came through of another pastor of a large multi campus ministry, a dear brother in the Lord, who has fallen into the mire of "moral failure."

Tragic, devastating news!

We all grieve for our brother...for his lovely wife...for his precious children.

And for ourselves who have heard God's Word and Spirit speaking to our hearts through this gifted brother.

But we also grieve with him...yes, with!

Because none of us is far from the same pit...though in different circumstances. This could easily be you or me.

July 11, 2016

The Dance of FAITH: Moving with His Life-giving Flow

July 11, 2016/ jan

A few years ago, my husband and I were at some friends’ house. This couple liked to gather miscellaneous people who knew them but not each other. True to form, they asked a great icebreaker question. The particular question that evening was,

If you could do anything other than what you currently do, what would that be? Your secret ambition?

July 10, 2016

The Acceptance of FAITH: Embracing that I Am who I Am... by Grace

July 10, 2016/ jan

If God Himself is the Strong One who does the doing, what is my part…yes faith, but what about my doing?

To answer that, let’s look again at our second “yet not I” verse:

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me has not been in vain. In fact, I worked harder than all of them--yet not I, but the grace of God with [sun, united with] me. (1 Corinthians 15:10 NET)

July 07, 2016

A Living FAITH: What is it?

July 07, 2016/ jan

What is a living faith?

To understand a faith that is alive, vibrant, real and restful, we need to explore two verses and two questions. Both of our verses contain the same interesting phrase, “yet not I.” And both are from Paul’s writings: Galatians 2:20 and 2 Corinthians 15:10.

1. What is “the faith” by which we live while on this earth?

I am crucified [united with] Christ; nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ lives in me, and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)

2. If God lives the life that only He can live in and through me, what about me? Do I do anything?

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me has not been in vain. In fact, I worked harder than all of them--yet not I, but the grace of God with [united with] me. (1 Corinthians 15:10)

July 05, 2016

The Rest of FAITH: Living the “Yet Not I, but CHRIST” Life

July 05, 2016/ jan

About twelve years ago, our son-in-law was stationed in Tucson, Arizona [home of our Alma Mater, the U of A, "Go Wildcats!" But I digress...]. When the school year for my ESOL class had ended in June, I flew to Tucson for an extended visit.

Beth and Nate were both working during the daytime, so I had some lovely, restful, sun-filled (and "Son-filled") time alone by the pool. At that time, I was reading some of Brennan Manning's books.

One day I was reading The Signature of Jesus: The Call to a Life Marked by Holy Passion & Relentless Faith as I soaked up the Arizona sun by the pool. I was somewhat annoyed to see that a man lying on a lounge nearby was straining to see what I was reading.

A Branch in the Vine