Numbness in my Soul

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Numbness in my Soul

Have you ever been so exhausted, so overloaded, so overwhelmed (even with good things or a mixture of good and hard) that you are numb ... on the verge of tears one minute then totally blank the next? That's me right now.

Three weeks with "littles" (I love them to pieces, but the energy doesn't coincide), overlapped by my husband's medical procedure that cancelled out a looked-forward-to trip to visit siblings on my beloved Jersey shore, capped off with my own need for a CT scan of an unexpected abnormality found in a previous ultrasound -- all have contributed to my "blank" numbness.


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Choose your FACE...Change your DAY

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Choose your FACE...Change your DAY

Just as water mirrors your face, so your face mirrors your heart. Proverbs 27:19

I love 4 year olds...they understand so much!  A few years ago, I told my then 4 year old grandson Evan that we choose our attitude.  And he got it!

I didn’t always think that was true, but the older I get the more I believe our choosing has a lot to do with it. And if we are children of God, the living, indwelling Christ empowers us to have an appropriate attitude for the situation.

I experienced this simple truth with another 4 year old when I was teaching preschool many years ago.

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Shine, Jesus, Flow!

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Shine, Jesus, Flow!

I've spent much of my adult life in the conservative evangelical Christian "camp," so to speak. I still place myself there doctrinally but I disavow myself from the tendencies that were prevalent over the years to look at other believers as "enemy brothers and sisters," in particular, charismatic Christians. Thankfully, that trend has been changing in recent years. We now often embrace each other freely and even espouse each other's differences as our own.

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TBT: Low Volume, High Volume, and Everything In-between

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TBT: Low Volume, High Volume, and Everything In-between

Some of us are low volume people. Others of us are high volume folk. And others are everything in-between.

...I think this realization affects how I view myself and others.

We all tend to be so insecure and self-conscious, constantly rejecting who and what God made us to be.  On the other side, we expect people to be more than they are and be able to do more than they can.  Or we think that those who are doing a lot are just showing off!

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Revisiting my "Words" ... wanting them to find me afresh!

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Revisiting my "Words" ... wanting them to find me afresh!

I'm weary and blank. The death of a friend, new health issues arising, aging making itself felt, even good things piling up beyond energy levels, desires to do too much and then paying for it ... all of it. So I'm revisiting my "words" of recent years. And I'm especially parking on this year's word "REST." Journey along with me?


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TBT: Walking in the Dark...

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TBT: Walking in the Dark...

Are you going through the dark valley today, my friend? Have there been oppositions, losses, stresses of many kinds looming all around you?

Darkness, darker than the dark?

I'm with you...especially this week...

But this morning, in the midst of it all, moved by an inner Mover, picking up a volume dating back many a year, there was balm for my exhausted, beat-up soul.

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TBT: The Emptying of Motherhood

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TBT: The Emptying of Motherhood

Motherhood is filled with emptyings -- from the emptying of the womb in childbirth to the emptying of self in child-raising to the emptying of the nest, the ultimate goal. The stripping is hard, every step along the way.

And eventually, it may mean being alone on the day when moms have always been lauded and honored. This happened to me early on in the empty-nesting process. It could have shattered me were it not for my Abba Father's loving gifts to this hurting mama. 

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Grandchildren

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Grandchildren

This moved me to tears this morning...especially as it gets toward the end. This is for grandpas who have a little bit harder time than grandmas with the chaos involved -- it's so worth it because of those precious babies, little now, but too soon to be big, people who are the future of the world …

… In the meantime, they are the freshest and fairest you have. After you're gone, it is mainly because of them that the earth will not be as if you never walked on it.




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TBT: Holes in my Soul

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TBT: Holes in my Soul

Do you ever feel like there are holes in your soul? I do. In fact, right now I feel a bit like a piece of Swiss cheese. And I don't mean "baby swiss." No, the real holes kind.

The interesting thing is that nothing bad is going on right now in my life. It's all good stuff! But the constancy of the schedule with a newborn (darling first granddaughter!), a two year old (energetic boy, I might add!), two older boys (awesome, each one!), plus sleep deprived young parents (getting ready for a military move next month, I might add), and two aged, also sleep-deprived, grandparents (John & me!) has been hard and delightful at the same time. But to be honest, we adults are all living "on the edge" of something (I just drew a blank as to what).

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Conferences, Conventions, or Christ?

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Conferences, Conventions, or Christ?

The people who know their God shall stand firm and take action. (Daniel 11:32 ESV)

The above verse became familiar to me when I began to lead Precept Upon Precept Bible Studies back in "the day." Kay Arthur would often punctuate her messages with this gem of truth. And yes, it made me want to know my God even more.

And over the course of my life I have benefitted by teachers and trainings, workshops and witness, conferences and conventions. But now I'm slowing down and realizing that it's really all about my Abba Father GOD. It's all about my Lord Jesus CHRIST. It's all about my indwelling HOLY SPIRIT ... my Triune GOD. And I want to know HIM purely and fully, more than ever ... as much as a human on this earth has spiritual capacity to do so. How about you, my friend?

If so, here is a short devotional by a formerly unknown, but now beloved, devotional writer of the past. This may be a good way to begin a new week or to walk a new path. It may also be helpful in decisions to soon be made about registering for upcoming conferences or studies. Is it God's appointed time to meet Him there or is it just frenetic busyness and not wanting to "miss out"?

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A Time to Live & a Time to Die: Reflections on Time & Eternity

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A Time to Live & a Time to Die: Reflections on Time & Eternity

For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
    A time to be born and a time to die...
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2a,4a (NLT)

Time, that fleeting commodity that holds us while on this earth! Yet, we can't hold onto it! And for all of us, time is ticking away. We are closer to the end of our earthly journey every second that we live.

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Peace for a Dying Soul: there is a Shepherd!

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Peace for a Dying Soul: there is a Shepherd!

Lord, bring Your Peace into the room as we go.

So I pray as we enter the hospice facility. Jesus can bring peace because He IS Peace! And how much darkness could be ready to rush in when souls are hanging between life and death.

For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I AM there in their midst.
Matthew 18:20 NASB

And so HE is here!

In the room a sweet, familiar voice speaks the eternal Word:

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

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Of Haircuts, Bananas, and Traffic Patterns: Is anything too Small for the Lord?

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Of Haircuts, Bananas, and Traffic Patterns: Is anything too Small for the Lord?

Is there anything too small for the Lord?

OK, that's not how the verse goes: 

Is there anything too hard for the Lord? (Genesis 18:14; Jeremiah 32:17; 32:27; Luke 18:27)

But maybe the first is a question we should also ask. Let me share why...

The other day I was taking my daily walk down our hill, through the nature path, alongside the horse farm, through a park area with the baseball fields and grove of trees...then back again. Many times this walk is when I commune with the Lord....listening to praise music, talking with  my Savior and Friend.

And other times, I commune with friends or family via my cell phone. Also lovely and meaningful.

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Secular or Sacred: Is there Really a Difference for a Child of God?

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Secular or Sacred: Is there Really a Difference for a Child of God?

If we believers are temples of God (and we are), 
     if we hold the glory of the Lord in the earthen vessel of our body (and we do),
          if we live unto Him as we walk out our lives (and we can), 
then can anything we do ever be "secular"?

All we do and are is sacred, isn't it? 

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Broken Open Glory: in All Its Glory! (Part 2)

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Broken Open Glory: in All Its Glory! (Part 2)

The Glorious GOD lives in ME, little ole broken me! 

... So can I spell out for us an amazing thought:

the Glorious God of Creation; 
the Arresting God of the Burning Bush; 
the Blinding God of the Desert Mountain; 
the Still, Quiet God of the "behind me" Voice; 
the Gentle God of the Judean Hillside; 
the Truth-filled God of the Living Way; 
the Compassionate God of the Overflowing Well;
the Caring God of the Secure Sheepfold; 
the Life-filling God of the Fruitful Vine; 
the Resurrecting God of my Salvation; 
the Fire-tongued God of the Holy Spirit

... lives in ME! 
and YOU too, my sister and brother, by grace through faith in the glorious Son, our Lord Jesus Christ! 

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Broken Open Glory: Seeing God in Seemingly Unlikely Places (Part 1)

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Broken Open Glory: Seeing God in Seemingly Unlikely Places (Part 1)

Things aren't always what they seem to be. Take, for example, an ugly fruit -- all gnarly on the outside, but incredibly luscious and sweet on the inside. Who knew?
Or how about a middle school aged boy, like my grandson Evan -- an ordinary (except to his parents and grandparents, of course) young man, ...
And what about a bush? I imagine the Old Testament patriarch Moses just thought the bushes on the backside of the desert where he tended sheep back in the day were just ordinary bushes. ...
Well, who knew that a particular rock could be more than a rock in Arizona ...

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Walkin' n Talkin' with my Savior

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Walkin' n Talkin' with my Savior

Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road...? Luke 24:32

Carter and I have this thing goin' -- walkin' n talkin'...n talkin' n walkin'...n walkin' n talkin' n....on and on and on.

It's pure delight for both of us, because Carter is 3-1/2**...and I'm Carter's Babci (Polish for Grandma).  I know it won't last forever -- he'll grow up and become interested in many other things.  But for right now, we have each other and walkin' n talkin' n talkin' n walkin'!

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Lenten Meditation: Q & A for Holy Week

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Lenten Meditation: Q & A for Holy Week

Question: "What is Palm Sunday?"

Answer:Palm Sunday is the day we celebrate the triumphal entry of Jesus into Jerusalem, exactly one week before His resurrection (Matthew 21:1–11)....

 

Question: "What is Passion Week / Holy Week?"

Answer: Passion Week (also known as Holy Week) is the time from Palm Sunday through Easter Sunday (Resurrection Sunday). Also included within Passion Week are Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday...

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