First posted June 28, 2017
Do you ever feel like there are holes in your soul? I do. In fact, right now I feel a bit like a piece of Swiss cheese. And I don't mean "baby swiss." No, the real holes kind.
The interesting thing is that nothing bad is going on right now in my life. It's all good stuff! But the constancy of the schedule with a newborn (darling first granddaughter!), a two year old (energetic boy, I might add!), two older boys (awesome, each one!), plus sleep deprived young parents (getting ready for a military move next month, I might add), and two aged, also sleep-deprived, grandparents (John & me!) has been hard and delightful at the same time. But to be honest, we adults are all living "on the edge" of something (I just drew a blank as to what).
However, in a "random" conversation this morning with a treasured friend, who herself is going through the "hardest of the hard" (the death of a beloved daughter), who just "randomly" happened to call (yeh, right!), I came into clarity and perspective! I realized something afresh. Our Abba Father God offers us Himself as our Survival in tough, intense, concentrated times -- times when we can hardly think straight or put one foot in front of the other.
And so I reflected, amazed at how I have been actually thriving in my survival. How? Why?
I have the indwelling Christ in the power of the Spirit who is my Life. My spirit is deeply fixed in Him and He in me. He is Bread for my daily journey. Even when it feels like I'm only getting a crumb, that Crumb is the Lord of all, the Fullness of God in human form (Colossians 2:9-10). So HE is always enough every day, no matter what. And He has been enough to my "hole-y soul." HE is my Hole Filler every time.
Then there's the "engrafted Word" (James 1:21) that is able to save my soul. I haven't had the time and/or "consciousness" to be meditating directly from my "hold in my hands" Bible. But the Word has made its way into my mind, heart, and yes, soul over the years. And so that engrafted Word does rescue me day by day. It rises up from within and saves my life in my every "today."
And there has been serendipitous refreshment, maybe just lasting a moment or two, but very real to a very real soul. Really too numerous to count, if I really start remembering and counting. And I do remember and delight in relationships, lovely celebrations, "chance" encounters, and much more. And did I say the "once only" times with my daughter, son-in-law, three amazing grandsons, and new little granddaughter? These moments will never be again! A daunting realization.
So I say, "Thank you, Lord, even for the exhaustion. It makes me cling to You in the now and focus on the moment that IS, right here, right now. I wouldn't want to miss it, because there I find You as well as my loved ones!"
What about you, dear friend? Are you feeling pretty "hole-y" right now? Hey, living in this fallen world with this broken (and can I add, "tired") humanness to contend with can make you feel pretty hole-y also in your too human, earthy soul.
Be encouraged, O child of God! He is your Survival. Remember that your fullness is in Christ and His word is engrafted in your mind and heart.* Count on HIM and His engrafted Word to take you through. HE will make all the difference in your walk through your hole-y life. Amen!
*PS. May I add a suggestion? ... and this is to myself also. Feed on HIM and His Word when times are normal, and there is opportunity. Then in the intense, helpless times, there will be a treasure, a storehouse (Matthew 13:52) from which to draw.