52 Years TOGETHER -- a Letter to my Beloved Husband

“Together.” What a significant word.

“Together” was significant in the beginning years of our marriage. We were no longer two single young adults, making decisions on our own, doing our own thing. And together we started building a life and a career and a family and many other aspects of making it on this earth.

Together, you gave me a “charmed life.” You kept us safe. You provided for our needs. You kept us “solvent” financially. You were always faithful and true.

But together has taken on a richer meaning in these latter years — not just because we are now both retired and spend most of our time together. But rather, something significant has happened … we have finally begun to value each other as “heirs together of the grace of life.”

I think it has been harder for you, John, to come to this in our relationship. Patriarchy, male dominance with all kinds of unhealthy implications, and extreme views of female submission have dogged our years together.

Remember when I said a decade or so ago, “let’s forget the headship-submission stuff” and just become friends again — two persons who love and respect each other as equals in God’s eyes. We had lost the friendship we started out with in our relationship those 52 years ago.

Well, I don’t know what happened, but I feel we now truly are “heirs together of the grace of life.” You treat me that way now…I can tell something has been set free. And so I feel there is hope for that long lost friendship. Only now much more mature and deeply spiritual.

Thank you for staying with me all these years, my beloved husband and dearest “brother.” I can’t do together without you.