Embracing the Life that's Mine, not the One I Wish were Mine

My cousin Peggy just posted this on Facebook yesterday::

My today life

It made me think of how I was feeling last summer after I returned from a month in Delaware with my daughter and family.  The last place I wanted to be was in back Ohio! But God brought me up short. Here is the blog I wrote shortly thereafter. Maybe you need the reminder periodically, as do I. First posted September 14, 2015.


Have you ever thought you didn't have a problem in an area and then all of a sudden you came face to face with the truth? I have! In fact, that happened again to me just the other day.  Here's how it played out:

I was whizzing down my Facebook news feed when I came across a link shared by my sister-in-law Vicky. Now Vicky has been posting some really good stuff lately, and I had a few extra minutes...plus I was drawn into it (could that have been the Holy Spirit?), so I parked there for awhile.

Vicky had posted a link to quotes for "anxious, highly sensitive, and creative people," BAM! Right between the emotional and spiritual eyes!

We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
Joseph Campbell

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

So that's my problem! I had been in a funk, a blue mood, lonely,...ok, depressed, for weeks. I haven't wanted to be here in Ohio, starting my job again, beginning a new commitment.

I've wanted to be back in Delaware...with my new grandson William and his brothers Eli and Kaden and my daughter Beth and her husband Nate (whom I am teaching to crochet, by the way...what fun!)



I've wanted to be in New Jersey...watching the sun rise over the ocean every morning and walking on the beach with my cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee with no one else around, except fishermen like my brother Billy, and photographers like Bill McKim.

Bill Mckim sunrise with kaden
My siblings (my mom now in heaven)

And visiting with my siblings and my dear mama in her new home at Manor by the Sea in Ocean Grove [now with Jesus in heaven since Nov 2, 2015]

My subconscious (and conscious) mind has been working on "how can I get back there...sooner instead of later?"

Now I have a good life here in Ohio, great husband, lovely home, awesome son and family, amazing friends, a one day a week teaching job that I love, a new opportunity to teach ladies the scriptures.  BUT...somewhere along the line, I've quit embracing my life and hugging it to my breast and being thankful for it -- both the good and the hard.  And that isn't good at all!

I can't live where I'm not! I need to live where I am each day...owning my reality. WHY? Because that is where God is and that is where I meet HIM! He is the I AM in my "right here, right now!"

After reflecting along these lines for awhile, another quote from the list got me:

Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there.’ Eckhart Tolle

Is that what is disturbing my sleep lately? I'm fighting against my own life! How many times have I "preached" against this very thing to others?

So what did I do? I chose to receive the truth the Lord was revealing.

"Jan, you need to be fully HERE!"

So here I am in Ohio...not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. I'm meeting the Lord in my "here" and receiving at His hand "this day, this bread" as the Lord's prayer says.

What about you? What is the life you have? Is it the one you are embracing, or are you reaching out for another...which is not really your life "right here, right now" at all?

Why not do what the Lord led me to do this morning?  Agree with Him, and then list your life and give thanks for each and every part of it by name, the good and the hard.

Then keep on adding to the list each day...till that eternal day when you see Him face to face, when He says, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord!"
"Come on home...to a perfect place, a place you never dreamed possible!"

I looked again and could hardly believe my eyes. Everything above me was new. Everything below me was new. Everything around me was new because the heaven and earth that had been passed away, and the sea was gone, completely.
And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God, prepared like a bride on her wedding day, adorned for her husband and for His eyes only.
And I heard a great voice, coming from the throne.
See, the home of God is with His people. He will live among them; They will be His people, And God Himself will be with them.

Revelation 21:1-3 VOICE