Let Me Get Home Before Dark

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.
We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. 
Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.
Hebrews 12:1-3 NLT

The imagery of the race as a picture of the Christian life on this earth has always held fascination for me. And finishing the race without pooping out is my heart’s desire . . . and more and more as I get older.

I get tired and so I grab hold of my God daily at a slower pace. But still I grab! Otherwise, would I end up not living from who I really am in Christ?

A spiritual father of mine, who is approaching his 90th year of life on this earth, shared this poem with me recently. He said that it is his prayer to make it to “the finish line” faithful to his God.

Where I particularly identify is my desire not to be a “drama queen” and expect my loved ones to make their lives all about “keeping me ok” because my life had become all about my picayune stuff as I age.

So join me in this prayer if you care to…

As for me, my life has already been poured out as an offering to God. The time of my death is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. And now the prize awaits me—the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to his appearing.
2 Timothy 4:6-8 NLT

Let Me Get Home Before Dark

It’s sundown, Lord.

The shadows of my life stretch back
into the dimness of the years long spent.
I fear not death, for that grim foe betrays himself at last,
thrusting me forever into life:

Life with You, unsoiled and free.
But I do fear.
I fear the Dark Spectre may come too soon
- or do I mean, too late?
That I should end before I finish or
finish, but not well.
That I should stain Your honor, shame Your name,
grieve Your loving heart.

Few, they tell me, finish well . . .
Lord, let me get home before dark.

The darkness of a spirit
grown mean and small,
fruit shriveled on the vine,
bitter to the taste of my companions,
burden to be borne by those brave few
who love me still.
No, Lord. Let the fruit grow lush and sweet,
A joy to all who taste;
Spirit-sign of God at work,
stronger, fuller, brighter at the end.
Lord, let me get home before dark.

The darkness of tattered gifts,
rust-locked, half-spent or ill-spent,
A life that once was used of God
now set aside.
Grief for glories gone or
Fretting for a task God never gave.
Mourning in the hollow chambers of memory,
Gazing on the faded banners of victories long gone.
Cannot I run well unto the end?
Lord, let me get home before dark.

The outer me decays -
I do not fret or ask reprieve.
The ebbing strength but weans me from mother earth
and grows me up for heaven.
I do not cling to shadows cast by immortality.
I do not patch the scaffold lent to build the real, eternal me.
I do not clutch about me my cocoon,
vainly struggling to hold hostage
a free spirit pressing to be born.

But will I reach the gate
in lingering pain, body distorted, grotesque?
Or will it be a mind
wandering untethered among light phantasies or grim terrors?

Of Your grace, Father, I humbly ask. . .
Let me get home before dark.

June 3, 1981
Robertson McQuilkin, South Carolina
Series: Poetry & Prayer

Responses from sweet readers:

Cynthia — “about 10 years ago, i spotted in Is. 55..."you shall go out with joy & be led forth with peace.." and immediately felt the Lord had given me an old age verse! i still believe that, in awe & wonder. the trials are real, but they truly are "light & momentary, working an eternal weight of glory"! i continue to pray to genuinely look forward to my day of departure to heaven & to bravely face that old enemy death at that time. i love Paul's words, no fear or doubt there, just eager anticipation. the Lord is merciful & hears our prayers! love, in Jesus ,cynthia 💗💗💗”