Remembering Stone #8: No More "He Loves Me ... He Loves Me Not"


No more God loves me, God loves me not.
No more “spiritual breathing” to be filled with the Spirit.
No more daily, “in detail” confession of sin (and even stuff that wasn’t sin but just negative thoughts and emotions) in order to get daily forgiveness and be “in fellowship.”
No more scrutinizing every jot and tittle of my behavior so that God will hear my prayers.

NO MORE! No more … no more!

I threw it all out* — my grade-school catechism memorization at St Matthews; my Religion award at graduation from Mount Saint Mary Academy; my knowledge of St Thomas Aquinas’ Summa Theologica etc. from my time in the convent; my spiritual disciplines training under Campus Crusade for Christ and the Navigators at the University of Arizona; my B.A. in Bible - Theology from Moody Bible Institute; my Masters’ level classes at Dallas Theological Seminary; all my trainings with Jay Adams, Here’s Life America, Billy Graham Association, Evangelism Explosion, Search for Significance, Bill Gothard, and on and on and on.

I threw it all aside and asked the LORD to rebuild my spiritual life and my relationship with HIM in His order and His balance and His truth-filled way. So we started from scratch together.*


And since the day I fully embraced the “Smile that Destroyed My Religion,” (See Remembering Stone #7), I have been learning to enjoy and bask in the unconditional (apart from my performance) love of my Abba Father God for me, His darling daughter.

And God HAS been rebuilding, piece by piece from the Scriptures and by the inner workings of the indwelling Spirit of God in communicating Christ to my soul.

So that is what I will be sharing in the remaining “Stones” — the clarifying and freeing and abundant message of God’s Smiling Love and Hugging Grace in our awesome, beloved, amazing Lord and Savior and Brother and Friend Jesus Christ! Amen.

*The interesting thing is, as you will see, most of what I had learned came back but in the correct perspective, filled with God’s truth, and with a new, purified motivation — all God-breathed with His scriptural truth saturated with grace.


For a Bible study on Living loved as Abba’s Child, join me right here:
Learning to live as a Child Incognito


Wishful Thinking


Lord is it possible to get this far
And just now understand who You are?
Feeling foolish yet relieved as well
'Cause what I bought before, I just can't sell

But now my eyes are open wide
If this is wrong
I don't wanna be right

Could it be that on my worst day
How you love me still will not change
What if it's really not about
What I do but what you did, oh what if

This ain't wishful thinking it's just how it is
This ain't wishful thinking it's just how it is

Well, I guess I'm better late than not at all
Or did you plan it this way all along
'Cause without suffering grace is hard to see
So maybe I'm right where I'm supposed to be

And now, I'm thinking you so differently
And all I can say is finally

Could it be that on my worst day
How you love me simply will not change
What if it's really not about
What I do but what you did, oh what if …


Before starting your own remembering stones, be sure to read the introduction to this series:
Remembering Stones: Reflecting on a Life Being Lived. This will help you with perspective.
Also to get caught up with the series, see:
Stone #1: The Will of God
Stone #2: The Holy Spirit
Stone #3: The Holy Scriptures
Stone #4: The Gospel of Grace
Stone #5: The Sovereign God
Stone #6: The Dark Night of my Soul
Stone #7: The Smile that Destroyed my Religion

What about you, dear reader? What are your earliest memories? Was there a significant person, place, truth that impacted you in your early years? What were your “stepping stones/remembering stones”? This doesn’t have to be set in concrete. You may likely change around your order and even delete/add as you go along. Just jot down your “now thoughts.”

And jot down even the hard things that happened in your life. You can then process them with the Lord. Watch how He takes those struggles and trials, as time goes on, and “filters” them into the truths about Himself and about your life that you can build upon.

Just start writing or journaling your thoughts — no need to write it up formally. I had started out with “Topics” and descriptions long before I started writing it up formally.

Happy reminiscing, recording, and writing!

And a shameless plug: The with-ness of our God ( Kirkus Review)