Penny's Post: All to Jesus, I Surrender!

I am more than excited and honored to share my next Guest Branch, my dear, dear, dear friend and sister in the Lord, Penny Mandeville. Penny and I have been friends for many years — through the weddings of children, our launch into grand parenting, and through the up’s and down’s of life.

Penny very often would open her home to our ladies’ Bible Study group. So we have studied the Word of God together for a long time. I’ll never forget Penny’s comment one Bible study morning— “God’s Word is so delicious!”

Penny is one of the most humble and spiritually sensitive people I know. She knows how to hear God (which will become evident to you as your read her message), and she freely shares His love and grace in creative ways —in little things like her “Penny pats” (little pats of butter alongside rolls, bread), lovely place settings, thoughtful and spiritually sensitive gifts, insightful comments, faithful prayer, and so much more.

When I asked Penny what she would want you readers to know about her, she replied, “I don’t have a lot of accomplishments! Maybe about being married for 51 years, 3 children, 7 grandchildren. I love walking through nature, reading, coloring. I love the Lord.” Whew, we women know there are accomplishments galore in that statement.

Now, here is my sweet friend Penny . . . in her own words.

May God grab your heart and mind as you read His message through His humble daughter. Amen.

The Lord gave me a word for this year. At first I thought it was for someone else. But then I heard the Lord say, “No. This word is for you, Penny!” The word was “Surrender”.

Surrender. Not a very uplifting word. 

Just before Christmas I had been diagnosed with breast cancer. I wasn’t devastated but I was truly surprised. So, in the new year I wasn’t sure how the year would unfold. I asked the Lord, ”How will I figure it all out?” The answer I heard? Surrender.

But what does surrender look like?

These are the three images that came to mind:

The first was a person with hands raised in the air. Like in a cowboy movie. Stick ‘em up! Surrender.

The second was on a battle field, a soldier flying a white flag. Surrender.

The third was a person laying down their weapon. Surrender.

Those three images were very defeatist. Depressing. 

Then I felt the Lord urge me to take a closer look.

 I was the one  with hands raised. But I wasn’t surrendering to the enemy. I was raising my hands in worship to God. I was surrendering in worship to the Father. My Father in Heaven. He has the big picture. He saw this cancer coming and knows what to do with it. I can trust Him never to leave me or forsake me. I lift my hands in worship to Him.

In the second image I held a flag but not a flag of surrender  to the enemy. The flag was to signify the presence of my king. Our British friend July once told us that when the King was in residence they flew his flag over the castle. I realized the flag meant the Holy Spirit was present in me. That flag acknowledges the presence of the Holy Spirit. My counselor, my comforter. When I acknowledge His presence in me I have that peace that goes beyond understanding. 

In the third image I lay down my weapons, but not in defeat but in understanding that I don’t have the weapons to fight this battle. This battle belongs to Jesus. He is my healer. He is the warrior. I lay down my human weapons and trust Jesus to lead me down the right path of healing through this battle. 

My part in this is to worship the Father, to acknowledge the Holy Spirit and to trust Jesus. My part is to surrender. 

There were times through this process that weren’t fun. Times it was uncomfortable. Times I had to do things I didn’t want to do. But it helped knowing I wasn’t the one in charge. I had already made the decision to surrender, to trust Jesus. I knew if He truly didn’t want me to do what the doctors were suggesting He would give me that feeling of “no, no, no!”. But all I heard was, “Trust Me. I’m right here with you!” 

At this point I have finished two rounds of chemotherapy, one surgery, and six weeks of radiation. And now I’m just facing one more round of targeted therapy. Easy-peasy. So far all is good. I’ve had many friends and family praying for me. I am so grateful for their support. I’ve not been scared or sad or discouraged. I have surrendered to this process by surrendering to Jesus. I’m thankful for the three images He gave me of what surrender looks like. They have carried me through.

I am worshiping the Father. He loves me.

I am acknowledging the Holy Spirit’s presence within me. He comforts me.

I am trusting Jesus to lead me through this battle. He protects me.

 I surrender all.

When I am alone
You are my befriender.
In the heat of battle
You are my defender.
To my broken heart
You are the mender.
I need never be
a pretender,
Because all to You
I surrender.